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The Cinematic Katzenjammer: Jan 26: Trespass


Jan 26: Trespass

"As they're held for ransom, a husband and wife's predicament grows more dire amid the discovery of betrayal and deception."

   If Hostage and Panic Room had a baby, and that baby ran into walls and ate its own poop, you would have Trespass. The film is not only riddled with cliches, but nearly every line of dialogue and every action by each character is just plain stupid. The story is about a family whose house is broken into by a bunch of thugs who are looking for a bunch of diamonds Cage has supposedly stashed away. The house has an elaborate security system, yet the thugs get inside simply by pretending to be cops. The rest of the film is just a bunch of screaming, crying, and a handful of weird flashback sequences attempting to give the story more depth...but all this film does is drown in the kiddie pool. 
Filled with the tears of Nic Cage himself

   The acting in Trespass is atrocious by nearly the full cast. I really have no idea why they would hire Nicole Kidman for such for the part of Cage's wife, when all she does is cry and beg for her life. The saving grace of the film is Ben Mendelsohn, who plays the "head burglar" Elias. He kicks a hefty amount of ass in his role and, surprisingly, out-acts the Great Cage. Unlike the rest of the cast, he knew the film was a piece of crap and just has fun with it. Go rent Animal Kingdom and you'll see how awesome Mendelsohn really is. 

This is a real crime thriller. 

   Overall, Trespass is a hard film to review. I know it's awful and I know what I am watching is shit, but I can't put it all into words. It's the kind of movie that just needs to be left alone, un-watched. In fact, the film holds the record for the quickest theater to DVD release, at only 18 days. Trespass was actually pulled from theaters after just 10 days. That should tell you enough.

Sight: This film was directed by the same man who raped a franchise with Batman & Robin. That should tell you enough. 
Sound: The film's score consists of quiet instruments being completely blown out by the constant crying and screaming of the family held hostage. 
Skill: Mendelsohn. 
Script: Weak, cliche and unoriginal, Trespass' script fails in nearly every aspect. 

Overall: 3.8/10

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