Cornucopia of Cage: A Week's Wrap Up

Today marks the end of the third edition of Nic Cage week and I wanted to bookend it with an assortment of links to reviews, videos, articles, and websites. While this site focuses on The Cage, I know that plenty of other people love the man as well and I figured opening up this forum for more Cage discussion would be ideal. 

3 Guys 1 Movie reviews The Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call- New Orleans

Furious Cinema offers up two reviews, one for Snake Eyes and one for Face/Off. 

Two Dude Review has a nice review (Joe's first ever) on Drive Angry

Flights, Tights, and Movie Nights has three super reviews, one for Ghost Rider, the other for it's sequel, Spirit of Vengeance and one for Kick-Ass

Bananas About Movies goes monkey for Season of the Witch and Drive Angry

@ACOConnor pointed me towards this video of "Nicolas Cage Losing His Shit"

Coffee and Casseroles has a handful of reviews all right here 

My Film Habit has a fix for Bad Lieutenant, Season of the Witch, Lord of War, and Kick-Ass

The Movie Waffler has reviews for Trespass, Season of the Witch, and Knowing

Dusty on Movies also linked me to this video, showcasing "The Man Inside the Nic Cage Costume"

And finally, wrapping it up with this- Year of The Cage, a blog that highlights a different Cage movie each week. So awesome. 

Thank you to everyone who sent me links this way and I look forward to bringing you all more Cage, come November!

Aug 19: The Rock

"A renegade general and his group of U.S. Marines take over Alcatraz and threaten San Francisco Bay with biological weapons. A chemical weapons specialist and the only man to have ever escaped from the Rock attempt to prevent chaos."

Directed by: Michael Bay, Rated: R, 136 minutes

Well before the Transformers movies, Michael Bay made a couple of decent action flicks. Sure, all of them were over-the-top, riddled with stupid humor, and have more holes in the plots than a Swiss cheese donut, but they're still pretty damn entertaining. After following the success of Bad Boys, Bay made The Rock, a Nicolas Cage vehicle with a little Sean Connery thrown into the mix. The movie isn't awful, by any means, but it's extremely dated and has plenty of flaws the biggest being that Cage plays a chemical biologist, a career the man has never had his name attached to before this film. 

Cage and his balls.

The Rock follows General Francis X. Hummel (Ed Harris), a retired military hero who has taken control of the island of Alcatraz in an attempt to scare the government into giving dead soldiers proper burials and their families compensation. The man clearly has good motives but his plan, launching a deadly chemical into the heart of San Francisco, turns the man into a terrorist. A special forces team of Navy Seals is enlisted by the FBI to infiltrate Alcatraz with the mission of stopping Hummel and his men. Of course, being a bloated action movie and all, Stanley Goodspeed (Cage) enters the picture as the man that has to come along because he's an expert concerning the chemical, even though he has absolutely no field experience. If you think about it, this a lot like what would have happened had Seal Team Six (who took out Osama) had a man tag along with them who's only experience with the mission was the fact he visited Pakistan when he was 12. Of course Cage and the ELITE NAVY SEALS can't do the mission on their own and have to enlist the help of John Patrick Mason (Sean Connery), the only man to have successfully escaped the rock in its entire history. And yes, what you're thinking is true. The U.S government (at the stake of national security) figure that the best way back into a place is to hire the man who broke out of it. Genius idea, government. Bravo.

Oh, that's right. It's mother f**king Sean Connery you hire. My apologies. 

While I didn't love The Rock as much as I did after previous viewings, it's still pretty good. However, my biggest complaint with the film is its lengths. Michael Bay has a habit of making "big ol' blockbusters" nearly two and a half hours and in doing so, really makes the movies drag on. The Rock is no exception and a large chunk of the movie feels like it was just thrown in for length and not substance (surprise!), especially toward the beginning when so called "character development" was thrown in to give more depth to the film. And for some reason, the US government found it be a genius idea to bring in an over-the-top flamboyant stylist into the mix to fix Connery's ragged look and long hair. Bay loves throwing in these little stupidities and at this point in my movie-watching "career", I can't really ignore them like I used to. Besides that, however, Cage and Connery are both good in their roles as they really just f**k about, doing whatever the hell they want. The Rock is a good reminder that Cage used to be able to carry an action flick as opposed to the crap he churns out every 15 minutes these days. The Rock also features some great special effects and chase sequences that use practical effects, as opposed to the constant CGI that now gives Bay constant hard-ons. This is one of the film's biggest strengths and a nice reminder of how movies used to be made, even if it was just 15 years ago. 

Coming in 2013: The Rock II: The Rock Rocks the Rock the Musical (featuring rock and roll covers of Disney songs)

I would definitely recommend The Rock as a mindless action movie to watch on a rainy day (by now, many of my recommendations are for rainy days so we can only pray for another 'Great Flood'). It's a great film to watch with your dad or even your son on a weekend when you're too lazy to do stuff around the house or you just feel like doing nothing. Keep in mind, it is a Michael Bay film and is far from a masterpiece, but it's enjoyable enough to recommend. It's also one of Connery's last films before he got pissed off at the world and retired from acting so seeing him hangout with Cage is quite the treat even if the characters they play are more than shallow. Watch it, enjoy it, and move on. Oh, and Ed Harris is f**king incredible. 

The Good:

solid action throughout the film with a nice chase sequence and plenty of explosions (all done with mostly real effects)

The Bad:

not enough of that action as there is way too much fluff stuffed inside the action bag

The Cage:

tame at times, neurotic when needed

Overall: 7.1/10

or

Three and a Half Cages out of Five

Got to love the voice-over

Aug 18: The Weather Man

"A Chicago weather man, separated from his wife and children, debates whether professional and personal success are mutually exclusive."

Directed by: Gore Verbinski, Rated: R, 102 minutes

The Weather Man is a really out of place drama, blending too many elements and throwing in way too many subplots. The film follows a somewhat likable guy (Cage, of course), but nearly everyone around him has the devil in them. And when a large part of the movie deals with him struggling with those around him, trying to find a way to reconnect with them, it's hard to cheer him on. Why the hell should this guy WANT to be around these people? The film also features Michael Caine with an American accent. Yeah, it's weird and yes, it's not normal. The man in an incredible actor, no doubt about it, but his American accent is way too monotone and unconvincing. 

I mean, come on! Does the man even look remotely American?

The Weather Man follows David Spritz (Cage), an actual weather man in Chicago who goes day by day, avoiding fast food being thrown at him and doing what he calls the easiest job in the world. The man is well over-paid, yet he still finds ways to complain about his salary and continues to look for an opportunity to move ahead in his career. While this is natural for most people, you can't really complain about making $250,000 a year, "predicting" the weather in one of the country's biggest cities. As Spritz figures out his career, he's also struggling to stay relevant in the lives of his two kids, Mike (Nicholas Hoult) and Shelly (Gemmenne de la Pena). Both love their father, but when can't quite connect with David like they used to. His ex-wife (Hope Davis) has been able to move on, even dating again, all to the chagrin of David. His father, Robert (Michael Caine) seems to have lost all hope in life, after earning success in his younger years, and faces death after a cancer diagnosis. David can never seem to win the approval of his father and faced with the almost certain demise of his dad, tries even harder to show him that he's an honest, successful man. All of these problems pile on the man, and Spritz tries his hardest to find a way out, thinking a new (better) job in New York City holds all the answers. Throw in a pedophilia subplot, a fat kid who's rebellious for no apparent reason, and an odd fascination with archery, and The Weatherman comes together in a weird, weird way. 

F**k you, Katniss. Cage owns the bow. 

The acting is great throughout the film, but the characters are too hard to like to really care about. There's only so far solid acting can take unsympathetic characters. Director Gore Verbinski (Pirates of the Caribbean) does manage to capture the dark humor and melancholy feel of the film very well, but by the movie's conclusion, you're left a little depressed. The characters change very little over the course of the movie as is pretty surprising as you'd think they would at least transform into more likable people. Sure, I understand that a part of this may be to make the film more realistic, but who watches movies for realism? I want my escape from reality, dammit, and I want my over-the-top Nicolas Cage. Cage is good, but he's almost completely lacking of his signature facial tics and has only one moment (or two) of him screaming. When I watch a Cage flick, I expect much more. The movie also features WAY too many product placements, plugging every fast food chain you can think of along with dozens of other items. 

You can only assume Wendy's paid to have a Frosty thrown at The Cage. 

I can't really tell you to watch or avoid The Weather Man because it's really in between good and bad. It's not awful, by any means, and has a few moments that are genuinely funny, but it's no masterpiece you need to run and see. Cage has had plenty of better films in his career but has also had far, far worse. If you're in desperate need of a Cage fix, and The Weather Man is on TV, it's not a bad movie to waste an afternoon with. 

The Good:

pretty good acting throughout, especially from Cage

The Bad:

that same acting destroyed by incredibly unlikable characters that make you more frustrated than anything else

The Cage:

normal, with great hair 

Overall: 6.3/10

or

Three Cages out of Five

Trailer:

Aug 17: It Could Happen to You

"A police officer promises to share his lottery ticket with a waitress in lieu of a tip."

Directed by: Andrew Bergman, Rated: PG, 101 minutes

It Could Happen to You is an absolutely ridiculous film that's not hard to watch because it's so stupid, but because it's full of more cheese and fluff than some chubby kid's "epic" sandwich he makes after he gets home from fat camp. It's laughable at how much crap is thrown in the film and seeing Cage play lead in a "romantic comedy" feels so, so wrong. The Cage belongs in action movies or dramas where he has some unusual characteristic that makes him "quirky", not in a movie where he shares a lottery ticket with a waitress he just met and falls in love through the process. It's wrong, Cage. WRONG!

More entertaining. 

Cage plays a New York City cop named Charlie who's married to the total bitch, Muriel (Rosie Perez). When the film starts, the couple have been married for who knows how long, but they are clearly not in love. She wants everything and wants to be spoiled like Jennifer Lopez and he's a nice guy cop who volunteers and helps keep kids out of gangs. The two are completely polar opposites and right away you can tell the writers made Muriel as unlikable as possible so any new woman introduced would look like Mother Theresa. Enter Yvonne (Bridget Fonda), a struggling waitress who's just filed bankruptcy and can't afford the divorce she wants from her piece of shit husband (Stanley Tucci). She's beautiful, everyone likes her, and she continues to work paycheck to paycheck because she think's it all might get better. After Charlie visits her diner and has no money for a tip, he promises Yvonne that if he wins the lottery with a ticket he purchased earlier, he'd split the earnings with her as her tip. Of course, this movie would go absolutely nowhere if he didn't win, so Charlie finds out he won four million dollars and keeps to his promise, with much hatred from his wife. As the three people live in luxury and gain fame for their win (and Cage's tip), Muriel proves to be an even bigger bitch and Charlie finds refuge from it by hanging out with Yvonne. As the two explore New York City as any romance movie couple would, they fall in love. Muriel gets pissed, lawyers get involved, and blah, blah, blah. 

Money only tears people apart... or makes talentless whores celebrities. 

As this film came out in 1994, anything I say next can hardly be considered a spoiler. But, if you are dying to know what happens to Charlie and Yvonne and only want to find out by watching the movie, stop reading now. The two end up together, after much conflict in the courtroom as Muriel seeks a divorce and payment (as she believes the lotto earnings to be hers and hers alone). And as luck would have it, the love the cop and the waitress share steals the hearts of the millions of people leaving in NYC. The two are good seen as good Samaritans (giving out money, helping widows, donating to charities) and after they lose all of the money to Muriel, the city comes together and sends the couple thousands upon thousands pieces of mail containing "inspiring words" and of course, cash. So in the end, the two win their own lottery together, find love, and manage to become their own little celebrities in one of the biggest cities in the world. Now, I'm pretty sure NYC in 1994 wasn't THAT different than the Big Apple of today, but I could never, ever seen that many people coming together to give some random couple a bunch of cash. It's frickin' New York, not Smalltown, USA. They charge $9 for a cup of coffee. I highly doubt people would be willing to donate to the "cause" of two good people falling in love. It's a f**king ridiculous notion and the absolute worst way in the world to end an already horrible movie. 

Here strangers, have $600,000 because you're story is "sweet". Kind of. No, not really, but have it anyway. 

As you can imagine, I would highly recommend skipping It Could Happen to You. The only reason I watched this flick (besides the fact that it's Nic Cage Week), is because I wanted to see a lighter side to Cage. Plus, it was on TV and that coincidence just screams "WATCH ME NOW!". The film lacks any sort of intelligence and while the two lead characters are somewhat (somewhat!) likable, the stupidity of the script brutally murders anything good about the film. Instead of wasting money on this piece of crap, go out and buy yourself a lottery ticket. But, if you win, don't even think about sharing it with a stranger. Real life doesn't have this stupid sappy endings. 

The Good:
a decent cast that's ruined by a horrible script
The Bad:
that said script that tries to craft some modern day fairy-tale crafted around the notion that you can only be happy with money and that love just sits in the back seat while the cash flows in
The Cage:
very tame and very natural... not bad

Overall: 3.0/10

or

One and a Half Cages out of Five

Trailer:

Aug 16: Seeking Justice

"After his wife is assaulted, a husband enlists the services of a vigilante group to help him settle the score. Then he discovers they want a 'favor' from him in return."

Directed by: Roger Donaldson, Rated: R, 105 minutes

As many of you know, I usually have a banner size poster for the beginning of each review, but clearly, that poster is too damn good to not show off. Cage. Is. A. Gun. The man is clearly going places with his career and I, for one, am incredibly excited. Until he actually gets back to those places, however, we're left with shit like Seeking Justice, a film so stupid and poorly cast you can't help but seek your own justice and turn the movie off. But since this is Cage Week and all, I had to sit through the entire film. The things I do for this blog...

PA-KAWWWWWWW

Seeking Justice follows Will Gerard (Cage), a high school English teacher (yes, I'd sit in that class, yes I'd enjoy the f**k out of it) whose wife (January Jones) is raped one day after her cello recital. I may not wish rape on anyone in the world, but when bitchy January Jones gets slapped around a bit, I'm perfectly okay with that. Anyway, after she's raped, Will is approached by the mysterious Simon (Guy Pearce). Simon offers Will a way to get back at the rapist and makes a deal with him. Simon will "take care" of the bad man and Cage will owe him a "favor" down the road. I only put favor in quotations because the IMDB synopsis does the same and alludes to the idea that something kinky is going to happen. Unfortunately (?), nothing of the naughty kind transpires. Six months after Simon murders the rapist, he calls up Will and sends him on multiple errands, following people and mailing letters to Santa. As it turns out, Simon is part of a "secret organization" that kills the bad guys and passes it on. If the organization does a favor for you, you owe them a life. Of course, Cage being the nice guy he is, refuses to kill his target and everything spirals out of control. Simon gets pissed, tracks down Cage, and puts every part of his life in danger until he does what he's told. 

Or else it gets the hose again. 

As you can imagine, there's very little to like about Seeking Justice. I'll admit, the idea of the organization doing what it does is kind of cool. But, the film fails to execute its rather unorthodox methods of doing things and drags out each little chore until it's completely uninteresting. There's a moment in the film when Cage turns the tables on Simon and makes him follow a list of things to do. At a monster truck rally, Cage tells Simon to go into the concourse, then go to the bathroom and take a leak, then order a hot dog. After these couple little tasks, Cage simply walks up to him and begins a conversation. I am unsure if the chores handed out were to get back at Simon for making Cage run around earlier, or if the movie just felt like dragging itself out a few minutes longer because "F**k you, it's Nicolas Cage". It's also worth noting that the casting of January Jones as Cage's wife was not only one of the worst casting decisions of all time, but a sad reminder that the horrible woman continually finds work. Her performance is so phoned in and out of place, she actually makes Cage look like Laurence Olivier. As for Pearce, he's completely out of place in the movie and his talent is wasted. He deserves much better than this piece of crap.

The horror... 

I would highly recommend staying away from Seeking Justice. The film is all kinds of bad. The movie does have its fleeting moments of decency but they are almost immediately washed away with a terrible script and horrible acting. Seeking Justice is most certainly worthy of the fact it was a straight to DVD release and had it not been for the "A-List" cast, this movie would have immediately fallen into the oblivion of bargain bins. With a laughable script, more holes in the plot than a donut shop, and a cast so piss-poor, Seeking Justice is nothing to seek out... Yep, ending it with a pun. 

The Bad:

a script that has no direction and simply drags on when it can't figure out what to do next

The Ugly:

a cast so stupid you can't help but wonder how much better it would be with no name D-listers

The Cage:

out of place, strung along, with a goatee

Overall: 3.0/10

or 

One and a Half Cages out of Five

Trailer:

As a side note, Seeking Justice features an abundance of TV actors, including Jennifer Carpenter (Dexter), January Jones (Mad Men), IronE Singleton (The Walking Dead), Harold Perrineau (LOST), and Xander Berkeley (24). I highly doubt this was just coincidence.  

Aug 15: Adaptation

"A lovelorn screenwriter turns to his less talented twin brother for help when his efforts to adapt a non-fiction book go nowhere."

Directed by: Spike Jonze, Rated: R, 114 minutes

Two Cages. Two Nicolas Cages. In one film. If that alone doesn't sell you on Adaptation, throw in Meryl Streep and Chris Cooper. Yeah, shit's going down. Not only does Adaptation have a terrific cast (all three leads were nominated for Oscars with Cooper taking one home) but the script is ridiculously smart and delightfully original. It creates a story so layered, yet so simple and masterfully blends fact and fiction until you can't tell the difference between the two. Writer, Charlie Kaufman (Eternal Sunshine) manages to adapt two different stories at once while combing it with a half-auto biography, creating an unusual breed of film. 

Cage overload. 

The story follows Charlie Kaufman (Cage), a struggling screenwriter who's run into a bad case of writer's block. He's desperate, looking for a way to adapt Susan Orlean's (Streep) novel, "The Orchid Thief" into something as creative as Being John Malkovich. Yes, the film references actual events on multiple occasions and it's incredibly unique in this method of storytelling. Along with following Kaufman, the focus of the movie continually shifts to Orlean and the processes she goes through in writing an article for the New Yorker about an Orchid farmer named John Laroche (Cooper). Orlean hopes to turn the article into a novel (the one Cage struggles to adapt). Yes, the film jumps around in every direction, while going backward and forward in time, jumbling everything together in a faux-mystery where the audience just sits back and watches everything play out. As I stated before, Adaptation is very layered and complex, but when you watch the film and begin to understand it, it turns out to be quite simple. Kind of.

The right way to talk to yourself. 

When discussing Cage's best performances, Adaptation has to be put at the top of the list. His Charlie Kaufman is neurotic and sex-crazed and the adaptation he's struggling to write takes a huge toll on him. He begins to lose control of his life and his sex dreams (when he actually sleeps) makes him all the more awkward around the women he desires. On the other hand, Donald (Charlie's twin who Cage also plays) is a confident aspiring screenwriter who thinks his newest story, involving a multiple-identity cop/killer, has the potential to be the next Silence of the Lambs. While Charlie struggles, Donald flourishes and the two completely different characters balance out the film perfectly. Cage shows great talent (real talent) and is able to jump back and forth between the two with ease. Along with Cage, Streep and Cooper both give incredible performances. Streep's Orlean has her own struggles as she writes her novel and slowly begins to fall in love with her subject, Laroche. Cooper as Laroche steals the show in the few bits he's actually in and is completely deserving of the Oscar he was awarded. Laroche is quite the character and while at first he appears to be the dirty red-neck obsessed with flowers, he actually turns out to be a rather layered character. 

*maniacal laugh*

I highly recommend Adaptation. It's like nothing you have ever seen and crafts a story so original you almost need to watch it again to appreciate it. As the pieces of the film come together, the surprise of the story as well as its genius comes to the front and center and you're baffled by how well it's made. A lot of films go around and come full circle by it's conclusion, but with Adaptation it takes that notion to an entirely different level. The film is a movie completely aware of itself, and the story on screen becomes the actual story being written inside the film. Again, I may have lost you, but give this film a chance and you can see what I mean. It's simply remarkable and needs to be watch. 

The Good:

incredible performances by the three leads as well as solid supporting performances from a lot of recognizable faces

The Better:

a genius script that leaves you baffled at how well it's written

The Cage:

at his best, as two different people

Overall: 9.2/10

or

Four and a Half Cages out of Five

Trailer:

Aug 14: Raising Arizona

"When a childless couple of an ex-con and an ex-cop decide to help themselves to one of another family's quintuplets, their lives get more complicated than they anticipated."

Directed by: Joel & Ethan Coen, Rated: PG-13, 94 minutes

Raising Arizona is one of the most entertaining screw-ball comedies of all time. It's the Coen brothers debut in the black comedy genre and puts together a terrific cast full of over-the-top cartoon characters that find themselves in deeper than they hoped. The film is delightfully original and tells a story so bizarre and strange that you can't help but enjoy every moment of it. And, being Cage Week and all, Raising Arizona gives us one of Cage's breakout performances and he's never been better. 

Awwww yeah.  

The story follows H.I (Cage), an ex-con, and his wife, Ed (Holly Hunter), a cop. The two are blissfully married and have the seemingly perfect life. H.I has straightened out his life for his new love and promises to do whatever it takes to make her happy. When they discover that Ed is barren and cannot have children, the two try every legal mean possible to have a child of their own. However, H.I's "checkered background" prevents the couple from adopting. Meanwhile, in their little south western town, the Arizonas, Nathan (Trey Wilson) and Florence have just given birth to quintuplets. H.I and Ed see this as their opportunity to have a child and think that the Arizonas have their hands full already and that relieving them of one of their newborns would not only be justified but also what God would want. Thus, H.I breaks into the Arizonas house, kidnaps one of the quintuplets (he thinks it's Nathan Jr.), and returns to his wife who's happier than a clam to finally have a child. Nathan Arizona, the owner of Arizona's largest unpainted furntiture warehouse, puts up a $25,000 reward to whoever can return his baby to him and H.I and Ed struggle in figuring out what to do now that they're in hot water and in hiding. Throw in another two ex-cons, the Snoats brothers (John Goodman and William Forsythe), a scary bounty hunter, and a rather incompetent police force and Raising Arizona becomes a crazy ride through the American southwest. 

Whoa, now.

Now, I'm a huge fan of the Coen Brothers and have seen all of their films multiple times. Raising Arizona, one of their first, is also one of their best movies. While most comedies taper out towards the end, Raising Arizona is constant with the laughs and ridiculous situations. When you think it can't get any better (or funnier), the film raises the bar another level and outdoes itself. The film is full of a cast of caricatures and exaggerated scenarios and any realism goes out the door almost immediately to a grand effect. Raising Arizona blends a pitch-perfect script with an absolute perfect cast and turns the comedy into something worth talking about 20 years later. 

They wouldn't have those Oscars without Arizona. 

As you can tell, I would highly recommend Raising Arizona. I had not seen the film for a couple of years before today and after re-watching I can only reaffirm my love for it. The Coen Brothers are two of the most unique filmmakers working today and while they have expanded their style to some extent, a lot of what is in each of their more recent movies has some connection to Raising Arizona. The film also helped jump-start the careers of Cage and Hunter, who have both gone onto follow their own paths quite successfully and also is the first time the Brothers worked with John Goodman, and you can now see the wondrous places that relationship has gone. 

The Good:

a script so crazy, yet so full of heart (in it's own little way) that turns unlikable people into great sympathetic characters

The Better:

a terrific cast that includes Cage, Hunter, Goodman, and more

The Cage:

perfect and over-the-top...  well before the crazy

Overall: 9.5/10

or

Four and a half Cages out of Five

Trailer:

Aug 13: Snake Eyes

"A shady police detective finds himself in the middle of a murder conspiracy at an important boxing match in an Atlantic City casino."

Directed by: Brian De Palma, Rated: R, 98 minutes

What the f**k did I just watch? Snake Eyes is a bizarre little mystery flick that jumps from bizarre and over-the-top to stupid and boring. The film uses the somewhat familiar technique of telling the same story from different perspectives as the audience pieces together the puzzle along with Cage. However, the use of this technique is moot right off the bat as only 30 minutes or so into the film, we know "who dun it". The pieces that we should be putting together are already there, just haphazardly thrown together.

Cage and Lt. Dan can't even pull this shit together.

Snake Eyes follows Rick Santoro (Cage), an almost dirty cop who's too sleazy to like and too arrogant to sympathize with. He's attending a huge boxing match at an Atlantic City casino. During the bout, a sniper takes aim at the secretary of defense, who just happens to be in attendance. Chaos ensues and the crowd goes crazy, ruining the "crime scene". Santoro takes it open himself to play lead investigator and he questions the key players of the night's events, trying to unravel the mystery behind the assassination attempt. What follows is a re-telling of each person's story of the night, told in flashbacks in the perspective of that particular "player". As I mentioned, this technique turns the movie stale rather quickly, but the actual camerawork is pretty interesting to watch. A large portion of the film is in first person or told through news cameras and blends a semi "found-footage" style with the feel of a video game. 

Awesome thought: Call of Duty: Cage Ops

Cage is all over the place in Snake Eyes. As the film starts, he's over-the-top and seemingly crazy, practically coked out like the madman we know him to be. However, after the bullets fly, he immediately turns into some kind of legit badge man and the Santoro character we first meet is pretty much abandoned. It's as though the screenwriters wanted to added a little flair to Cage before he became a stoic, regular guy kind of hero but in doing so, just created a bigger mess of a film. It's a shame, because the crazy Cage is the kind of Cage I look forward to. When you tame the beast and put him in a cage (oh yeah, I went there), you tend to get a pretty shitty movie. Filmmakers need to know and recognize this fact and simply let Cage fly free with all his crazy hair styles and facial tics. Let the man do what he does.

 The wings are coming in nicely. 

Snake Eyes is not worth a watch nor my recommendation. Skip it, forget it, and move onto something else. While the film is certainly not the lowest point of Cage's career, it's down in the lower half as it never becomes much of anything. Any suspense is almost immediately taken out of the film when we discover who's behind a large part of it and turns something that could have been a decent mystery into a predictable piece of crap. It's also worth mentioning that the movie's conclusion is absolutely ridiculous and completely unnecessary and turns the tables on a movie that already has been running around with its head chopped off for 90 minutes. 

The Good:

some camerawork that's quite impressive but then also reminds you that the first person perspective can suck for the most part

The Bad:

a script so piss poor and so messy that never comes together in the end and lacks any and all direction

The Cage:

crazy, then muted... such a shame

Overall: 4.0/10

or

Two Cages out of Five

Trailer: