Nov 19: Swimming with Sharks

"A young, naive Hollywood studio assistant finally turns the tables on his incredibly abusive producer boss."

Directed by: George Huang, Rated: R, 101 minutes

Last year, we were gifted with the great little comedy, Horrible Bosses, a film about a group of guys who decide to murder their bosses after putting up with way too much bullshit. The film stars Kevin Spacey as a complete asshole who demeans his co-workers and even rubs it in for greater effect. Little do some of you know, Spacey played a very similar role in 1994's Swimming with Sharks. However, he's an even bigger prick and an even worse human being and the consequences of his actions are much more extreme then that of the lighter Horrible Bosses. The film is much more somber as well, and while it has moments of dark comedy, it's more drama than fun.

And it features a lot of shouting from Spacey. Something we have all learned to love. 

Guy (Frank Whaley) is a nervous, fresh out of film school young man who's looking to break into the Hollywood business. Excited at any prospect, Guy accepts a job at a film studio as the assistant to Buddy Ackerman (Spacey), a hot shot executive who tears through people with his mean words and horrible actions. He lies, cheats, and does whatever he can to be the best, even if it means stealing ideas or trampling over anyone in his way. He's far from Boss of the Year material and the poor Guy can only go so long without snapping (which he does). Guy breaks into Buddy's house, ties him up, and tortures him in an act of revenge. Swimming with Sharks goes back and forth between Guy covering Buddy's wounds with salt and lime and the days when he first started working for him. We see Guy's first interactions with Buddy and quickly become aware of how awful Buddy is, thus in a twisted sense, justifying Guys' actions later on. We also take a glimpse at the budding romance between Guy and Dawn (Michelle Forbes) and even Buddy's attempt to ruin that.

Swimming with Sharks is both black comedy and serious drama. At first glance, Guy appears to be a man who's gone psychotic over being pushed around too much at work. He's borderline lunatic and you think that he's crossed the line when it comes to torturing Buddy. However, as the film progresses and we see the story behind Guy's actions, we relate in a sick way. We've all hard terrible bosses we fantasize about punching in the face or pushing into traffic, and seeing Guy get completely destroyed by Buddy is something we would never wish upon our worst enemies (except those bosses). While Guy certainly goes to the extreme, the more we see of Buddy, the more we hate him as well and hope that pain is inflicted upon him. It's by no means fun to watch, but you don't look away, as you're curious as to seeing how far Guy will go. It has a dark edge to it that makes it entertaining but when you're left thinking about it, you're slightly disturbed. 

Saw: Living Room edition. 

Both Whaley and Spacey give absolutely incredible performances. Whaley is perfect as the nervous guy that's been bullied too much and him snapping into lunacy is very believable. He's never painted as the enemy and his simplicity and normalcy add to the realism and ability to relate. Spacey delivers again as Buddy and continues to impress me as an actor. His egotistical "I'm better than anyone" attitude is eerily believable and makes you wonder what working for him in real life must be like. He crawls under your skin and plants himself comfortably, laughing his ass off as you writhe in pain. You hate it, but you love it. And it's a big reason why Swimming with Sharks works. The film is far from perfect but it's a nice little look into the Hollywood executive life and the lengths people will go to not only get to the top, but keep that position and reign supreme. I'd definitely recommend checking it out.

The Good:

great performances by the two leads with a bite coming from Spacey that makes you hate him just a little bit

The Bad:

experiencing a hell of a workplace with Guy, and wondering how disgustingly awful it would be being in that situation

The Ugly:

knowing that there are people out there with the same mentality of Buddy and that there is someone, somewhere, being trampled over by said people

Overall: 7.6/10

Discussion Question:

What's the worst boss you have ever had? Any twisted fantasies about seeing them in pain?

Trailer:

Aug 17: It Could Happen to You

"A police officer promises to share his lottery ticket with a waitress in lieu of a tip."

Directed by: Andrew Bergman, Rated: PG, 101 minutes

It Could Happen to You is an absolutely ridiculous film that's not hard to watch because it's so stupid, but because it's full of more cheese and fluff than some chubby kid's "epic" sandwich he makes after he gets home from fat camp. It's laughable at how much crap is thrown in the film and seeing Cage play lead in a "romantic comedy" feels so, so wrong. The Cage belongs in action movies or dramas where he has some unusual characteristic that makes him "quirky", not in a movie where he shares a lottery ticket with a waitress he just met and falls in love through the process. It's wrong, Cage. WRONG!

More entertaining. 

Cage plays a New York City cop named Charlie who's married to the total bitch, Muriel (Rosie Perez). When the film starts, the couple have been married for who knows how long, but they are clearly not in love. She wants everything and wants to be spoiled like Jennifer Lopez and he's a nice guy cop who volunteers and helps keep kids out of gangs. The two are completely polar opposites and right away you can tell the writers made Muriel as unlikable as possible so any new woman introduced would look like Mother Theresa. Enter Yvonne (Bridget Fonda), a struggling waitress who's just filed bankruptcy and can't afford the divorce she wants from her piece of shit husband (Stanley Tucci). She's beautiful, everyone likes her, and she continues to work paycheck to paycheck because she think's it all might get better. After Charlie visits her diner and has no money for a tip, he promises Yvonne that if he wins the lottery with a ticket he purchased earlier, he'd split the earnings with her as her tip. Of course, this movie would go absolutely nowhere if he didn't win, so Charlie finds out he won four million dollars and keeps to his promise, with much hatred from his wife. As the three people live in luxury and gain fame for their win (and Cage's tip), Muriel proves to be an even bigger bitch and Charlie finds refuge from it by hanging out with Yvonne. As the two explore New York City as any romance movie couple would, they fall in love. Muriel gets pissed, lawyers get involved, and blah, blah, blah. 

Money only tears people apart... or makes talentless whores celebrities. 

As this film came out in 1994, anything I say next can hardly be considered a spoiler. But, if you are dying to know what happens to Charlie and Yvonne and only want to find out by watching the movie, stop reading now. The two end up together, after much conflict in the courtroom as Muriel seeks a divorce and payment (as she believes the lotto earnings to be hers and hers alone). And as luck would have it, the love the cop and the waitress share steals the hearts of the millions of people leaving in NYC. The two are good seen as good Samaritans (giving out money, helping widows, donating to charities) and after they lose all of the money to Muriel, the city comes together and sends the couple thousands upon thousands pieces of mail containing "inspiring words" and of course, cash. So in the end, the two win their own lottery together, find love, and manage to become their own little celebrities in one of the biggest cities in the world. Now, I'm pretty sure NYC in 1994 wasn't THAT different than the Big Apple of today, but I could never, ever seen that many people coming together to give some random couple a bunch of cash. It's frickin' New York, not Smalltown, USA. They charge $9 for a cup of coffee. I highly doubt people would be willing to donate to the "cause" of two good people falling in love. It's a f**king ridiculous notion and the absolute worst way in the world to end an already horrible movie. 

Here strangers, have $600,000 because you're story is "sweet". Kind of. No, not really, but have it anyway. 

As you can imagine, I would highly recommend skipping It Could Happen to You. The only reason I watched this flick (besides the fact that it's Nic Cage Week), is because I wanted to see a lighter side to Cage. Plus, it was on TV and that coincidence just screams "WATCH ME NOW!". The film lacks any sort of intelligence and while the two lead characters are somewhat (somewhat!) likable, the stupidity of the script brutally murders anything good about the film. Instead of wasting money on this piece of crap, go out and buy yourself a lottery ticket. But, if you win, don't even think about sharing it with a stranger. Real life doesn't have this stupid sappy endings. 

The Good:
a decent cast that's ruined by a horrible script
The Bad:
that said script that tries to craft some modern day fairy-tale crafted around the notion that you can only be happy with money and that love just sits in the back seat while the cash flows in
The Cage:
very tame and very natural... not bad

Overall: 3.0/10

or

One and a Half Cages out of Five

Trailer:

July 13: The Shadow

"In 30's New York City, the Shadow battles his nemesis, Shiwan Khan, who is building an atomic bomb."

Directed by: Russell Mulcahy, Rated: PG-13, 108 minutes

I really don't see why there are so many bad reviews about The Shadow. Sure, it has its flaws, but I believe it to be a pretty damn good superhero movie that's flown completely under the radar since it's release in 1994. Released in a time when the superhero movie was just becoming "relevant", The Shadow may not have been what the average moviegoer was looking for. However, I think it's aged incredibly well, and while the dialogue may be its kryptonite, The Shadow's biggest star is the special effects. Yes, here I am stating that the effects in a movie from 1994 still look great today. I was shocked at how good the film looks. It blends a beautiful combination of CGI (done very well) and huge sets that look like they were pulled off the Warner Bros. lot where Batman was filmed. 

A pretty great introduction as well. 

The Shadow tells the story of Lamont Cranston (Alec Baldwin), a World War I vet that escapes the battlefield and becomes a drug lord in Tibet. Cranston is confronted by Tulku, a monk that is willing to give him a shot at redemption, but learning the art of the Shadow and saving those in need. He learns how to become invisible, except of course for his shadow, as well as being able to manipulate the thoughts of others with his own kind of hypnotism. After seven years of training, Cranston returns to 1930s New York City. He travels the streets at night, looking for those in danger. After saving each victim, he presents them with a red ring that's used as a calling card, as his saving them means they owe him their lives. Over time, the Shadow has an agent in nearly every area of the city and relies heavily on Moe Shrevnitz (Peter Boyle), a taxi driver and the Shadow's means of transportation. Shiwan Khan, an evil ancestor to Genghis Kahn (and another student of Tulku), arrives in the Big Apple in hopes of destroying the city and its population with an atomic bomb. The Shadow then must do whatever it takes to stop the mad man. Of course, he can't do this all on his own so Cranston enlists the help of a couple of his agents, as well as Margo (Penelope Ann Miller), a woman with telepathic powers. 

She's incredibly plain looking for a leading lady. 

The best part of The Shadow is the special effects. The film uses a great combination of CGI and live effects, and as I said earlier, all of it has aged wonderfully. The Shadow simply doesn't wear a mask like you'd see on Batman or Spider-Man, but he completely changes the way he looks. Each time Cranston becomes The Shadow, a quick motion over his face completely changes his appearance, almost like a magic trick. The movie is full of moments like this, and when mixed with the noir setting and elaborate sets, The Shadow is all kinds of pulpy awesome. The Shadow is actually an adaptation of a very popular 1930s radio show (that later became a series of pulp novels). The film does a great job at capturing the time of the hero and creates a New York City you'd love to explore. However, even with these great effects and what not, the film's dialogue leaves a hell of a lot to be desired, as does Alec Baldwin's performance. The man is usually pretty good, but his performance is just too over-the-top without any substance. He's not the most likable man in the role (neither is The Shadow, honestly) and anytime he's on screen and nothing fancy is happening, you kind of just want to look away.

He has no idea what the f**k is going on. 

I'd certainly recommend The Shadow, even with its flaws. It's nowhere near a perfect film but has a pretty original story and great special effects. I am not the biggest fan of remakes, but I think a new version of the hero would be awesome. The Shadow also features great supporting performances by Ian McKellan, Tim Curry, and Jonathan Winters. Curry, especially, shines in his moments of villainy. In the end, The Shadow simply entertains. I can only imagine how great the film could be if Baldwin was actually committed to his performance and if the script had been stronger. Who knows, instead of it being just tossed aside as though it's nothing, The Shadow could be a staple film in the ever growing list of great superhero movies. 

The Good:
great special effects that have held up surprisingly well since 1994
The Bad:
all shine and no substance leaves you really wanting more 
The Ugly:
wondering why something similar (if not a remake) hasn't been made, as the source material leaves you aching for something epic

Overall: 6.7/10

Trailer:

Feb 22: The Crow

"A man brutally murdered comes back to life as an undead avenger of his and his fiancée's murder."

  Revenge films are always great. Seeing how much one man or woman would do in order to get back at the ones who hurt a loved one is always entertaining and exciting. The Crow is no different, and it brings that dish best served cold with style, melancholy, and the life of one individual. Brandon Lee, the star of the film, actually died in a stunt accident during the making of The Crow, and knowing that fact makes the entire movie all the more creepy. It's sad we lost Lee so early in his career because The Crow shows that he could have been something great and, unfortunately, we will never know if he could have been a star like his father, Bruce Lee. 

Hell, he could have played the Joker and it would have changed the game well before the amazing Heath Ledger

  As for the story, The Crow's is simple with a touch of the paranormal. After being dead and buried for a year, a crow brings Eric Craven (Lee) back to life to exact revenge on those who murdered him and his fiance. There is no explanation as to why it happens, it's just as though he won a afterlife lottery where, instead of millions of dollars, he gets super powers and a makeup kit. But, the why doesn't really matter as seeing him use his newly found powers to track down and kill everyone involved with his own murder is just so damn cool. The film doesn't worry about having a great story or a lot of depth (there isn't a lot), but the execution of the revenge and the ensuing action is more than entertaining enough. 

"I guess the $896,487 is okay, but I would have preferred heat vision and telepathy."

   Overall, The Crow is a pretty damn good film that may have not aged the greatest, but still stands on its own with its unique style and vision. Alex Proyas, the director, captures the dark setting perfectly and some of his camerawork is exceptional, including scenes filmed through the view of the first person. The script is strong and the dialogue is smart, pulling directly from the comic book that the film is based. The soundtrack is moody and fits the theme well and the small, but constant, reminder of the tragic loss of Brandon Lee makes the film all the more eerie and intriguing. 

The Good:

great acting by Brandon Lee in a terrifically dark and moody film

The Bad:

some scenes show the film's age and it doesn't necessarily take away anything from it, but can prove a little distracting

The Ugly:

losing Brandon Lee when he was just showing signs of being something more than just a martial artist

Overall: 7.6/10

Best Quote:

Top Dollar: "Ya know, my daddy used to say every man's got a devil. And you can't rest 'til you find him."

P.S If you're a fan of The Crow, check out another Alex Proyas' film, Dark City- completely underrated and overlooked. 

Feb 9: Reality Bites

"Generation X Graduates face life after college with a filmmaker looking for work and love in Houston."

   Reality Bites is a movie that has characters that are absolutely full of themselves and insanely pretentious. The film is set in the mid 90's as a group of Generation Xers attempt to find meaning in life and love after graduating college. This attempt shows a cast full of a naive, pompous and arrogant people thinking they are meant to solve all of the world's problems, while being better than everyone else. If this movie was filmed today, I have a feeling it would be all about those f**ked up individuals we call hipsters. 

I hate you. I hate you so much. 

   I wasn't part of this demographic, leaving college for the real world in the 90s, so I don't know if Reality Bites is a great insight to what people were like then. The whole film feels very dated, as so much of what was going on at the time of the movie is not really relevant today. Sure, college graduates these days tend to have more ideas and desires than they do job opportunities, but that doesn't justify a whiny movie. This is actually the third or fourth time I've seen Reality Bites, and I guess it's that, as I grow older, I realize the film is really full of itself. 

Just pucker up your duck lips and post that shit on Facebook. 

   Now, not everything about Reality Bites is conceited and/or pretentious. The soundtrack is one of the best things going for the film and, unlike a lot of the movie's subject matter, has aged very well. The acting is good. Ethan Hawke, who plays the lead guy, is good as always; but, because of what the script wrote him as, he' a complete asshole. Winona Ryder is her usual self, seemingly better than everyone else but has more than enough problems all her own. Here, in 1994, she looks exactly the same as she does now. I think her, Keanu Reeves and Sean Connery are all in on some secret society that has access to the fountain of youth. Either that or they're all vampires. 

They were vampires before vampires were cool. 

The Good:

Great soundtrack and a decent first attempt at directing by Ben Stiller

The Bad:

Self loathing pre-hipster era twenty somethings that can't find happiness in anything... and a lot of complaining

The Ugly:

A film that has so much dialogue about anti-establishment and free living should not have such a massive amount of product placement

Overall: 5.5/10

Best Quote:

Lelaina: He's so cheesy, I can't watch him without crackers.