Nov 10: Krull

"A prince and a fellowship of companions set out to rescue his bride from a fortress of alien invaders who have arrived on their home planet."

Directed by: Peter Yates, Rated: PG, 121 minutes

The 80s gave way to more than enough fantasy movies. From Labyrinth and Willow, to Legend and The NeverEnding Story, we were transported to fantastical worlds and encountered all sorts of creatures. Unfortunately, not all of these adventures are worth remembering, and the 1983 bomb, Krull, is no exception. It's a terrible, terrible film that tries to ride off the coattails of the previously mentioned fantasy flicks, while injecting doses of Star Wars and Star Trek for safe measure. However, that's really all it is. It barely brings anything new to the table and the parts that are clearly borrowed from more familiar films just don't fit. It tries to appease each genres' fans and goes nowhere.

Swords and lasers don't mix, no matter what Star Wars taught us. 

Krull follows the story of the Prince Colwyn (Ken Marshall) and his journey to save the love of his life, Lyssa (Lysette Anthony) from The Black Fortress, the home of an alien group of invaders known as Slayers. Colwyn is joined by a handful of companions, from the bandit leader Torquil (Alun Armstrong), the wise Seer (John Welsh), a shape-shifting comic relief, Ergo (David Battley), and an out-of-place Cyclops that can see the future. Of course, Colwyn's adventure sees him facing all sorts of dangers, from falling rocks, evil magic, and of course, the Slayers, and he must use a magical glaive and the sorcery he can conjure with the help of his love, to take down The Black Fortress. In Krull, everything takes as long as possible to happen, and each scene must be dragged out for what seems like eternity, to fit an already lengthy run-time. Each obstacle, as well its conquering or destruction, is stretched out for as long as possible and it gives you plenty of time to be disgusted by the dated effects and awful acting. Krull just gives you too many chances to hate it and reminds you over and over of how boring this glorious adventure of love really is. 

Marshall has this look on his face for 90% of the movie. 

I'd like to say that Krull really puts forth the effort to be something special, but I feel so much of what plays out on screen was put together with $10 and a fancy "Hollywood" camera. The movie lacks any substance or depth to give a damn about the characters and what happens to them (when some die, you don't care... at all) and the "grandness" of the journey unfolding never captures your imagination. Ken Marshall fits the lead role, physically, but his acting is so shallow and phoned in, you can't relate or cheer for him. He's in the role for his looks but lacks the charisma. Marshall's supporting cast is just as lackluster and the only standouts (for their names alone) are the incredibly young Liam Neeson and Robbie Coltrane (Haggrid). Even then though, their roles are diminished to background characters and are never given the chance to be the true badasses they grew up to be. Everyone else is forgettable and it's such a shame, as the gang that comes together is very reminiscent of the fellowship in Lord of the Rings. But none of the characters stand out on their own and are more quantity than quality to Marshall's leading man.

Before he was Jesus/Zeus/Ra's, he was... Kegan. 

Krull never takes off and just drags on for two hours. It's unimaginative and lacks any of the magic that made other 80s fantasy movies so memorable. Ken Marshall went on to do pretty much nothing after Krull, so it's safe to assume that he never had the talent in the first place. He never brings the movie to great heights and while he doesn't necessarily drag it down, but he just blends into the bloated, boring cast. The story lacks any true notion of a greater good fighting an even bigger evil, and the danger presented feels forced instead of genuine. Unfortunately, I took very little away from Krull and highly recommend avoiding it like the plague. I had absolutely no fun watching the film and was so bored, the only entertainment I could find was counting down the minutes left in the movie. 

The Good:

seeing a young Liam Neeson and Robbie Coltrane, even if its as brief as it is

The Bad:

the movie has the amount of imagination it would take to create a Power Rangers villain

The Ugly:

the 2+ hours I spent suffering through this and knowing I will never get it back

Overall: 2.0/10

Discussion Question:

What are some of your favorite fantasy movies from the 80s? Any forgotten gems you'd highly recommend?

Trailer:

Oct 11: Taken 2

"In Istanbul, retired CIA operative Bryan Mills and his wife are taken hostage by the father of a kidnapper Mills killed while rescuing his daughter."

Directed by: Olivier Megaton, Rated: PG-13, 91 minutes

Back in 2008, the world got a different look at Liam Neeson. We always knew he was a great actor and an immortal badass but with Taken, we witnessed the man become his own breed of action star, kicking more ass than we ever thought possible. It was a surprise hit, coming out in January, a month where most movies get released to die (as a side note, with The Grey this year, Neeson is easily the King of January). I remember coming out of the theater knowing I had just witnessed something incredible. The action was tight and the plot was simple enough to keep things moving. Four years later we're again given the chance to see Neeson kick ass in Taken 2. Unfortunately, it fails to deliver any of the excitement of the first film.

Even gods can fall...

Seemingly only months after the first film, Bryan Mills (Liam Neeson) is on a mission (I thought he was retired?) in Istanbul. His ex-wife (Famke Janssen) and daughter (Maggie Grace) surprise him on the trip, hoping to have a nice little broken-family vacation. Unfortunately for the family, the father (Rade Serbedzija) of one of the men Mills brutally murdered in the first movie is seeking out revenge for his son as well as the others who were killed. So Papa Sex-Traffiker has Mills and his wife kidnapped and brought to some facility for some fun and torture. Of course, Mills' perpetually 16 year old daughter, Kim, manages to evade capture and through a series of random grenade tosses and drawing circles on maps, she helps save her father. Once the Kraken's released, Mills needs to track his ex-wife down and save her, while killing everyone and everything in his way.

Maggie Grace is 29. Not 17. We're not that stupid, Hollywood. 

There's so much to complain about when it comes to Taken 2. After four years since the last film, you'd assume more effort would be put into this sequel. The film feels incomplete and rushed, with so many scenes that just don't make any sense. The action is also very weak and the camerawork doesn't let Neeson shine as the action star we love him as. It's jumping around too much and you can never really focus in on what's happening, leaving much to be desired. The plot itself is also recycled as much as a plot can be and you're left wondering why a family that just suffered such a close-call tragedy in the first film could venture out of their own homes, let alone an entirely different country. Upon its announcement, I knew the film would struggle in the plot department, but I hoped that if it could at least duplicate the first film's style and action, I'd easily forgive that fact. Taken 2 does not deliver the goods and feels very watered down. 

Speeding blind through the crowded streets of Istanbul while daddy shoots bad guys is apparently the only way to practice for a driving test. F**k that subplot...

Even with it's flaws, it's always nice to see Neeson in a role that gets him even more attention. This is a guy I've loved for so many years, even turning him into my fake-cinematic father figure (I know we all have), so seeing him in a successful franchise is good. However, I know he's better than Taken 2 and I really wish he forced the film to go into another direction. On previous episodes of the As You Watch Podcast, I've mentioned that I wish the franchise would turn more into a buddy-ex-military-special-ops kind of film, where Mills teams up with his ex-CIA friends that he hangs out with in the first film (yes, they do pop up in Taken 2 but nothing really happens with them). If you must, go see Taken 2, but go into it knowing that it's a huge disappointment. Mills' specific set of skills take a back seat in this very lackluster sequel. Here's hoping that the inevitable Tak3n turns stuff around and gives us the proper sequel we deserve. 

The Good:

a soft addition to Neeson's career, with just a couple (and I mean a couple) moments where he kicks a lot of ass

The Bad:

the script is lazy, with weak action and an ending so laughable you hate life

The Ugly:

camerawork and editing that let you see nothing going on, wondering if a child spinning around in circles was given the camera

Overall: 5.5/10

Trailer:

Sep 28: Battleship

"A fleet of ships is forced to do battle with an armada of unknown origins in order to discover and thwart their destructive goals."

Directed by: Peter Berg, Rated: PG-13, 131 minutes

If Hollywood just HAS to make a movie about a rather mundane board game and turn it into a summer "blockbuster" they could at least have the decency to make it interesting. With Battleship, the newest (and stupidest) unnecessary adaptation, we're given an absolutely boring film, with loud noises, decent effects, and a cast of characters no deeper than a puddle of a mud. Director Peter Berg manages to take an already stupid idea and turn it into something even worse, pretty much just giving us a piss-poor version of Transformers, but still less entertaining. Yes, folks, I prefer Transformers (something I've been known to despise) over this sad excuse for a film. 

Transformers! Robots in de-skies (and sea)!

This loud and obnoxious atrocity tells the story of Alex Hopper (Taylor "I Make Movies Bomb" Kitsch), a trouble making dude who manages to become the captain of the U.S.S John Paul Jones after a bunch of other people die when aliens attack. Because, we all know that shit like this happens all the time and our leading officers in the army simply "fall" into the position left and right. So yeah, back to the aliens. These robotic man-things that look like the robot in the NFL on FOX commercials come to earth, seeking something. We don't really know, they just invade. A bunch of shit blows up, an actual game of Battleship plays out on screen, and a quasi-patriotic montage of young soldiers working together with old veterans to get stuff done takes over your senses. Oh, and absolutely nothing (and I mean nothing) happens until 41 minutes into the film. 

With plenty of horrible changes in the NFL, this bad boy and his friends decide to take over earth. 

There's very little to be enjoyed with Battleship. Sure, some of the special effects look neat, but they're completely ruined minutes later when bad actors stand in front of even worse green screens. And, if you thought Star Trek had more lens flares than necessary, Battleship will make you want to watch it with sunglasses on. Before I watched the film, I thought that it would contain very little references to the board game, because I mean, come on, how can you incorporate bits of plastic and what not into a blockbuster movie. To much surprise, the film is riddled with nods to the game, each being more laugh-tastic than the last. Here's what I noticed: 1. the missiles the aliens use are pegs that look exactly like they're from the game 2. they use a grid like chart to coordinate attacks, even calling out F-22 and such 3. that same chart results in multiple "misses" and eventual "hits" 4. multiple quotes about being unable to "sink this battleship!" 5. once a boat is destroyed, the main characters jump aboard another 6. when it's all over, you fling the pieces in the air in frustration, knowing full well your little sibling cheated. 

F**k you, Kevin!

Battleship is a movie that's dead in the water before it starts. Ruined by its premise, raped by the fact its an adaption of a board game, and absolutely shat upon with its execution, the film goes nowhere and does nothing new. Taylor Kitsch proves again that he has no ability to carry a film and his horrible supporting cast can't save him (Rihanna's lines never cross the three word mark). Also, a random Liam Neeson can't do much for the film, even if his presence is only for about five minutes in a bloated 131 minute movie. Skip this movie if you can and if you've already seen it, I'm sorry. Films like these should not exist and I pray to God this disaster taught Hollywood a lesson. If not, expect Battleship 2: Monopoly Candyland, Summer 2014. 

The Good (yes, there is one):

The film uses plenty of real life former soldiers and Navy men, with even a veteran double amputee playing a big part in the film. I found this to be very awesome that real badasses were included 

The Bad:

an over-long mess that tries way too hard to be something epic, but turns into a shallow dump of bad special effects and even worse acting

The Ugly:

actually seeing the end result of an adaptation of a board game, and knowing full well what a horrible failure it is, and still knowing that more of these are on the way

Overall: 2.6/10

Trailer:

As a reminder, enter my contest for a free copy of The Avengers on Blu-ray! Click HERE for details!

Guest Review: Battleship

Hey, guys. Justin from Today I Watched a Movie here. I'm taking Nick's blog over for the day and renaming it The Cinematic Katzen-Jamiroquai reviewing a film that he said he wasn't going to review (but ended up doing anyway!)*

*editor note- while I may end up reviewing it myself, I may not have the patience of Justin

**editor note note- The Cinematic Katzen-Jamiroquai is a terrific idea

In an attempt to keep things fresh, I'm not going to be emulating Nick's style or using the same format I normally do reviews in on my own site. This review is going to be stream-of-consciousness style! Don't know what that is? Basically, I'm going to write down whatever movie-related thoughts come into my head as the movie plays, noting the times before each comment.

Here we go with Battleship!

1:10 - Ahhh! What is that awful screeching? I already know I'm going to be bored if they started out with a text prologue.

2:12 - We really are living in the future if they can set up a story like this in the not-too-distant past.

2:26 - Is that Dr. Doom's snotty assistant from Fantastic Four? Why is he giving such heavy-handed foreshadowing?

3:14 - Hey! It's John Carter!

3:29 - Wow, are you sure that's the take you want to go with, new guy? I mean, they probably could have reshot it if you asked.

6:27 - This is bringing back so many memories! My favorite part of playing Battleship as a kid was when you send your ships out to find a chicken burrito.

6:53 - PRODUCT PLACEMENT! Oh, sorry. I forgot this isn't my blog.

8:31 - Thank goodness there's ice in that tub, amirite?

9:31 - Almost ten minutes in, and now they show the boats.

10:40 - Ahhh! What is that awful screeching? Oh wait, that's just Rihanna.

10:54 - I spoke too soon about the boats. Apparently now I'm watching Foosball: The Movie.

15:12 - "I don't know who you are, but I will find you, and I will sink your battleship."

18:49 - Are Rihanna and the big doofus going to stay in the background commenting on everything for the whole film?

21:44 - "What is wrong with you?"…a line uttered by Liam Neeson fans the world over when it was announced he'd appear in this film.

23:16 - The boats are back! The boats are back!

28:25 - Every time I think they boats are back, they cut to something that isn't boats.

41:06 - Almost an hour into the movie, the main plot starts. I didn't comment any more until now because nothing worth noting happened.

42:06 - Just get some submarines and go under the barrier, you guys!

42:58 - Yay! The Transformers are here! They'll save the day for sure!

44:36 - Ahhh! What is that awful screeching? Rihanna must have left one of her songs playing.

44:58 - You're really using that "I didn't sign up for this" line, movie?

46:24 - The alien ships are shooting Battleship pegs at the boats. Hopefully this is not the only reference to the game in this film.

53:04 - I'm hoping the Comedy Relief Yelling Twins will meet a swift demise right about now.

53:54 - Samus, no! Those aren't Metroids!

54:36 - Battleship, ladies and gentlemen. The movie featuring scene after scene of sports being played on dry land.

55:02 - Ahhh! What is that awful screeching? It sounds like a bunch of kids screaming.

55:55 - Every time there's a destruction scene involving roads in a movie, they're required by law to show at least one kid, silently staring in awe as it happens.

1:00:48 - At certain angles, Taylor Kitsch looks a lot like that bald kid from X-Men 3.

1:01:13 - Yeah, thanks for pointing, doofus. I'm sure Cap'n Serious here can tell there's a Halo cosplayer on the floor.

1:02:43 - "Your motivation in this scene, Rihanna, is to provide us with a couple of voiceover lines for the trailer. Think you can handle that?"

1:09:51 - Meanwhile, back on Plot Convenience Hiking Trail…

1:12:11 - Man, those are some laid back horses. Aliens running around, cars blowing up, and they're just chillin', chewin' some grass.

1:16:12 - I almost forgot Liam Neeson was in this movie.

1:16:58 - Waaaaaait. Didn't the aliens destroy the satellite when they landed on Earth earlier in the movie?

1:21:07 - Okay, here we go. Second reference to the actual game.

1:25:09 - Third reference. Those aliens are totally cheating, though. You can't move your ships after you start playing!

1:32:20 - If they insisted on letting Rihanna be in this, the nice thing to do would be to not give her any lines.

1:41:04 - These WWII veterans are making Rihanna's acting skills look bad…She was doing just fine with that on her own, guys!

1:42:29 - What is with this song? I read once that the best movie soundtrack is the one you don't notice. DOESN'T APPLY HERE, APPARENTLY.

2:00:42 - And we end this awful, bloated mess of a movie as the most misused song in the history of misused songs gets played over the credits.

2:09:36 - I was letting the credits play in the background while I edited this review a bit, and wouldn't you know it? There's an after-credits scene. Watch it if you enjoy seeing Scottish boys beating space debris with a stick.

Trailer:

July 18: Batman Begins- 200th Review

"Bruce Wayne loses his philanthropic parents to a senseless crime, and years later becomes the Batman to save the crime-ridden Gotham City on the verge of destruction by an ancient order."

Directed by: Christopher Nolan, Rated: PG-13, 140 minutes

How fitting it is that my 200th review is the first film in an epic franchise that concludes this Friday with The Dark Knight Rises. Where do I start when discussing Batman Begins? It's the film that re-introduces one of the world's greatest superheroes and turns him into a legend of epic proportions. The film made Christopher Nolan and Christian Bale both house-hold names and set the precedent for not only superhero movies, but film as a whole. It combines both excellent story-telling and great spectacle, and shows that a blockbuster movie doesn't need to be all about the visuals. Batman Begins is a film that never loses itself in its scale, and knows that it's human emotion at the heart of the story. Batman is more than just a man in a suit and Nolan paints a tragic, yet beautiful portrait of the soul in the cowl- Bruce Wayne (Bale). 

He's also our rippest Batman, yet. 

With most superhero movies lately, the biggest flaw is the re-telling of the origin story, or how so-and-so became the hero. With Batman Begins, the origin story is turned on it's side, as it delves into the actual process Bruce goes through to become The Dark Knight. He's a man-made hero and we witness him training and learning how to not only fight with his fists, but with his mind and ideas. Unlike most origin stories, however; scenes of his training are intertwined with those of his homecoming to Gotham and even flashbacks to his childhood. It's all broken up very well and not one story gets too tedious. It's a unique way to build Bruce's character and we see how flawed a character the man really is. He's not perfect, but he's determined, and it's in that determination that a hero emerges. He's not from a distant planet, he's not bitten by a radioactive spider, and he's not in some accident involving toxic waste or a failed experiment. We literally see his creation every step of the way, from his suit and utility belt, to his own version of the Batmobile. His power is his muscle and his mind, all of which he pushes to the limits. It's in this humanity and realism of Batman Begins that the movie flourishes. Gotham is a city destroyed by crime, not by supernatural forces or super-powered villains, but simply by bad men with bad intentions. 

Ras al Ghul is the leader (also Bruce's mentor) of the League of Shadows, a secret organization that claims to be involved in the rise and fall of countless civilizations. In the eyes of Ras al Ghul, Gotham is a city on the verge of destroying itself and must be destroyed to not only save itself, but prevent the spread of it's evil. When Bruce gets wind of this news, he escapes his training grounds in Asia and returns home. He sees that the city is indeed not what he remembers it to be, and knows that something must be done. Bruce designs a symbol, inspired by his own fears, to take to the streets of Gotham. He knows that if he can create a persona, or even an idea, that's strong enough to evoke fear into the hearts of Gotham's criminals, things will get better. Thus, Batman, his symbol, is born. As Batman fights the criminal and the corrupt, he discovers that the man behind it all is Carmine Falcone (Tom Wilkinson), who owns half the city through payoffs and fear. If Batman can take down Falcone, he knows he can take down the mob. However, even the mob has it's tricks and Falcone has Dr. Jonathan Crane (Cillian Murphy), a psychologist who has a rather unusual way of "treating" his patients. Using a neurological toxin, Crane has the power to expose the hidden fears in everyone, and as the League of Shadows takes claim to Gotham, Crane relishes in the chaos and panic. Batman must face a great challenge before he can even make a dent in Gotham's crime. Of course, a hero is only as strong as his allies, and Batman has not only the loyal and wise Alfred (Michael Caine), but the courageous and honest Lt. James Gordon (Gary Oldman), the beautiful Rachel Dawes (Katie Holmes), and the inventive Lucius Fox (Morgan Freeman). 

There's so many good things about Batman Begins, it's hard to pinpoint any specific moment that elevates it to greatness. The realism is its biggest strength, and understanding that a man has the power and determination to become a hero makes it so much better. It also helps that the movie has a pitch-perfect cast, with each actor filling their respective role brilliantly. Bale not only becomes the suave, playboy Bruce, but the heroic, badass Batman. Michael Caine lends his natural sophistication and knowledge to Alfred. Gary Oldman, usually a chameleon in his roles, stands his ground as Gordon and makes you want to give every honest cop you know a hug. Morgan Freeman owns the role of Lucius Fox, a character that was all too unfamiliar before the film. Liam Neeson is the perfect mentor and teacher and, even if his cause seems immoral, you can't help but wonder if he's right. Cillian Murphy borders the thin line between genius and psychotic brilliantly. It's the sum of its parts that makes Batman Begins a masterpiece, and without any of these men in their roles, it would not be the same. Even the smallest characters add a lot to the film and I have got to give recognition to Linus Roache who gives a small, but incredibly effective performance as Bruce's dad, Thomas. 

He has less than five minutes of screen time but is so damn good in his role. He has an intangible characteristic that makes him shine, and every time I watch the movie I can't help but wish he was in it even more. 

Batman Begins is a quiet little masterpiece. In retrospect, it's a little difficult watching the film without realizing its importance as a precursor to The Dark Knight. However, even then, it's a strong film on its own and a beautifully dark introduction to the world's favorite hero. Christopher Nolan is a great director, and while Batman Begins is nowhere near the scale as its sequels, its self-contained, emotionally driven story turns it into something much bigger. I can't recommend this movie enough and I cannot wait for the trilogy's epic conclusion this weekend. 

The Good:

Christian Bale is Batman, I don't care what anyone says

The Better:

a realistic approach at one of the world's most recognized and loved superheros, giving Batman the dark, gritty tone he deserves 

The Best:

along with Bale, a phenomenal cast that rises to each and every occasion, owning his/her respective roles without any doubt

Overall: 9.4/10

Trailer:

July 2: Wrath of the Titans

"Perseus braves the treacherous underworld to rescue his father, Zeus, captured by his son, Ares, and brother Hades who unleash the ancient Titans upon the world."

Directed by: Jonathan Liebesman, Rated: PG-13, 99 minutes

As I mentioned in my Immortals review (see it here), I cannot understand why Greek mythology has not been able to make a better transition to film. I certainly do not blame the myths themselves, because they are some of the greatest stories ever told. The fault, however, is with the filmmakers and writers, thinking they need to chop up, mix together, and rehash the stories of old for a "modern" day. Clash of the Titans failed miserably in 2010, and now Wrath of the Titans follows in 2012. When will anyone learn that an epic story does a lot more for a movie than a bunch of special effects? It would also help to cast an actual actor in the read role and not some shitty Australian who got lucky with Avatar and now has to be in every big action franchise. Sam Worthington cannot act, people. He's more wooden and stale than a bag of old sawdust and has just as much charisma. 

He has absolutely not one f**king idea as to what is going on. 

Wrath of the Titans takes place ten years after the events in Clash of the Titans and we see the half-god Perseus (Worthington) trying to live a peaceful life as a fisherman with his son, Helius. When his father, Zeus (Liam Neeson) is captured by Hades (Ralph Fiennes) and Ares (Edgar Ramirez), Perseus must travel through the underworld and release his father from the prison, Tartarus. Hades, who is completely out of character in doing so, wants to release his father, Kronos from the prison, and he plans on using Zeus' power to do so. Thus ensues a race against time as Perseus, Andromeda (Rosamund Pike), and his cousin and son of Poseidon, Agenor (Toby Kebbell who's awesome as always) travel through hell itself to save his father and I guess, mankind. Now, I am not an expert when it comes to Greek Mythology, but know there is plenty wrong with the story in the film. Nothing that happens in Wrath of the Titans happens in mythology, and the movie is essentially a grab bag of creatures and gods thrown into a melting pot and left to simmer. It borrows from all sorts of myths and it really just has its pretty little way with whatever it wants. 

Yes, I am saying Wrath of the Titans rapes Greek mythology. And there are no amount of showers to wash away that guilt. 

So, as you can assume, my biggest fault with Wrath of the Titans is the plot. It's a "divine" jumble of this and that. One would think that if you took whatever parts of whatever myths you'd like to tell a story, something awesome would come out of it. However, there is so much chaos, inconsistencies, and ridiculous happenings in the plot to make any of it worthwhile. It really is an insult to Greek mythology and even story-telling as a whole. These stories are well known and ancient for a reason and even f**king with them the slightest is a big no-no. It also doesn't help that the story holds hands with a terrible script of dialogue. Sure, Clash of the Titans didn't have much of a script either, but it did have the now "classic" line, "RELEASE THE KRAKEN!". Wrath of the Titans has none of that, only melodramatic whispers, ridiculous shouting, and far from clever quips and jokes. Even the two best actors in the film (and arguably two of the best alive), Liam Neeson and Ralph Fiennes, fall victim to the terrible script. Moving on, one of the only things I like about the film is the special effects and creature designs. Even then however, the legendary monsters Perseus and co. encounter are merely swept under the rug as mere pests as opposed to the beasts of legend they really are. For instance, the Minotaur, an incredibly important character in the myth of Theseus (not Perseus), is on the screen for about a minute before it's dispatched to the underworld. There is no reverence towards any of these creatures and I feel the filmmakers made it a game to see how many they could fit in one movie, with no qualms about the actual histories. 

Even the badass Chimera is treated like a little dragon bringing nuisance to a small fishing village. 

Wrath of the Titans is a terrible movie. I somewhat enjoyed Clash of the Titans, but this sequel just disgraces too much myth to forgive it and does it in the worst way possible. It's all spectacle and no substance. I would recommend skipping it with every bit of energy you have and that the only thought of the film that comes into your mind is the ones you have as you read this. Zeus himself would feel ashamed having his name attached to this piece of shit and one could only hope that the filmmakers receive a lighting bolt to the noggin for their involvement. Hell, maybe then it will "spark" some creativity in their minds and they can move past Wrath of the Titans and onto at least the slightest bit of mediocrity. But please not onto Rumble of the Titans. 

The Bad:

Sam Worthington- the awful Aussie actor who cannot carry a movie in the slightest and whose presence alone foreshadows terrible storytelling

The Worse:

What do you know? Terrible storytelling that falls apart before it even begins, never following any one myth but blending them all into one chaotic mess

The Worst:

insulting Greek mythology and acting as though each myth was a little pitch to a movie studio that could easily be dismissed (and ripped off of) and not a legend to be held in respect

Clash of the Titans (for reference): 5.2/10

Wrath of the Titans: 3.5/10

Trailer:

Feb 12: The Grey

"In Alaska, an oil drilling team struggle to survive after a plane crash strands them in the wild. Hunting the humans are a pack of wolves who see them as intruders."

  If I were to ever find myself crash landed in the Alaskan wilderness with only a handful of other survivors, I'd hope that one of them would be Liam Neeson. The guy is the definition of badass. From his early roles (Rob Roy) to his more current ones (Taken), Liam Neeson shows you that he has what it takes to fight and survive. The Grey is no different. However, this time around, Neeson's manliness is not on display in an epic action movie, but in a beautiful and tragic survival story. Yes, The Grey is not an action movie like many of you would assume from seeing trailers. It is a drama about survival and the will to live, and it packs one hell of an emotional punch. 

Like this, but to your emotions, in Alaska, with beautiful piano music. 

   The Grey is exceptional on so many levels. The cinematography is gorgeous  and really captures the beauty of the north while still reminding us that it's not a safe place. Liam Neeson, Frank Grillo, Dallas Roberts and Dermot Mulroney all deserve praise, as each of their acting is incredible. Their roles are fleshed out with depth, and we learn a lot about each of the characters through their actions and well written dialogue that they share with each other. Neeson is effortlessly believable as the alpha in the "pack" of survivors, and the parallelism between them and the wolves is subtle but smart. 

No, he does not become a werewolf. 

  A couple of scenes that stand out the most to me are the beginning and the end. The plane crash is one of the most realistic scenes I have ever seen and it is quite terrifying. It is filmed in a way I have never seen a crash filmed and, as readers already know by now, I love love love originality. The ending wraps up everything perfectly and does so with a beautiful piano piece by the composer, Marc Streitenfeld, who also deserves praise. I have read that a lot of people are upset with the ambiguity of it but, I could not see it ending any other way. I left the theater knowing The Grey is an amazing film but, it lingers and the realization that it is more than just amazing slowly creeps in, like the cold making it's way to your bone. 

The Good:

great story, great acting, great music, great cinematography 

The Better:

Liam Neeson in what I am calling an Oscar-worthy performance

The Best:

The ending and the utterly instinctual will to live driven by faith, inner strength, or love

Overall: 9.5/10

Best Quote:

Ottway: (reciting a poem) "Once more into the fray. Into the last good fight I'll ever know. Live and die on this day. Live and die on this day."