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The Cinematic Katzenjammer: April 11: National Treasure


April 11: National Treasure

"A treasure hunter is in hot pursuit of a mythical treasure that has been passed down for centuries, while his employer turned enemy is onto the same path that he's on."

   A movie with Nicolas Cage, who was born in 1964, the first year the Beatles performed on live television, the beetle is an insect, like the bee, who makes honey, that Winnie-the-Pooh loves, who was written by A.A Milne, who was born in London, thus the London Bridge, which is in Arizona. That's where the treasure must be! But wait, first we need to find the missing monocle of Thomas Jefferson's secretary's free-mason husband, which is the key to unlocking the treasure chamber! Or something like that. I just wrote a sequel to National Treasure. All you need is Nic Cage, a handful of CGI and stunts, gadgets, a wise-cracking sidekick, and of course, the script to fill in all the little extra bits. That's exactly what makes up National Treasure and, although it is ridiculously over-the-top, it's so damn entertaining you can't help but love it. 

Oh, and he uses the Declaration of Independence (the one he stole) to deflect bullets being shot at him by Sean Bean

Yes, Ned Stark. 

   Like most of his films, the best part of National Treasure is Nicolas Cage. His  insanity, his facial tics, and of course his hair, all make up the persona and character of Benjamin Franklin Gates; a treasure hunter obsessed with finding, well, treasure. His never-ending knowledge of American history is that of a savant and his pulling of facts out of God knows where is laughable but oh so entertaining. Cage is perfect in the role. If his character taught a college course, you'd be damn right about me doing whatever it takes to win the campus wide paintball game (to earn priority registration, duh). 

Yes, Annie. I'd even "kill" you...*sigh*

   National Treasure is what would happen if Indiana Jones had a baby with Lara Croft, and the kid grew up and joined the circus. The entire thing would sound awesome and look awesome, but then you'd realize he's just in a leotard swinging from a trapeze, who's best friends with a bearded lady and a midget. In short, it's incredible, ridiculous, and so fun to watch. Nicolas Cage is at home in his role, and you can't help but think he's at home staring at a quarter, trying to find it's connection to that one building next to Independence Hall (see, even imagining that is entertaining).   

The Good:
Nicolas Cage piecing completely unrelated things together to track down gold
The Bad:
the filmmakers actually thinking the audience is stupid enough to believe the elaborate connections
The Ugly:
knowing there really is no connection between a dollar bill, the Liberty Bell, and a shit ton of gold

Overall: 7.2/10


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