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The Cinematic Katzenjammer: April 10: Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance

Tuesday

April 10: Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance

"As Johnny Blaze hides out in Eastern Europe, he is called upon to stop the devil, who is trying to take human form."

   I'll admit, I watch quite a bunch of movies that are absolute pieces of shit. I even seek them out. Everyone knows that some of the worst movies can gloriously entertaining because they are so bad. However, once in awhile you watch a bad movie that's so bad, so cheesy, so poorly made you can't help but regret watching the thing. Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance is one of those films. Even the great Nic Cage can't save this messy piece of flamin' shit. With a terrible script, even worse acting, and special effects that are all over the place, GSRV can go down in history as one of the worst superhero films of all time.

 ALMOST the worst of all time

    There is really nothing good about GSRV. The plot involves a priest (played by Idris Elba, who's the only decent part of the film) and Johnny Blaze and their attempt to save a young boy from being the "vessel" for the devil and giving him unlimited power to plague the world with evil. Throw in a gangster who gains the power to decay anything he touches (except Twinkies, get it? ha. ha.)and a whore of a mother, GSRV is one f**ked up Brady Bunch. All of this is edited together into a 95 minute flick that's more cheap music video than it is over-the-top action movie. Speaking of which, the film actually lacks a lot of action, and the middle part, or "character development", is so boring and mundane you hope the Ghost Rider himself will ride up on his hog and suck the very soul out of you. 

Seriously, no one wanted the first film, how the hell did a second get made?

  Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance is a film I beg you to skip. It's not entertaining, it's not funny, and it's not even watchable. Even with the rare use of good special effects, the entire thing is edited together like a shitty acid trip, where all you can think is "What the f**k am I watching?". The movie was filmed in the bowels of eastern Europe, where of course franchises go to die. But in this case, the whole thing was dead on arrival. As the saying goes, one shouldn't beat a dead horse, but with GSRV, beating a dead animal sounds more entertaining. Yes, the film is so shitty it makes you a bad person. Burn it with fire. And, yes, I went there.

The Bad:
a horrible movie got a sequel
The Ugly:
the sequel is worse than said horrible movie
The Awful:
EVERYTHING about it

Overall: 1.8/10

Trailer:

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2 Comments:

At April 11, 2012 at 4:02 PM , Blogger Josh Jones said...

Truly a horrible movie, but I'd totally give it an extra point just for the pissing fire scene (used twice even!).

What was with all the times he just stood there shaking his head back and forth, I always expected something bad ass to happen, but it never did.

 
At April 11, 2012 at 4:41 PM , Blogger Nick said...

It was used twice? I only remember it once.

But yeah, Cage had a lot of buildup but never jumped into crazy town. He did in that one scene, however, when he held that guy up against a wall, demanding where they took the boy. His voice got all high pitched and squeaky.

 

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