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The Cinematic Katzenjammer: March 19: The Eagle


March 19: The Eagle

"In Roman-ruled Britain, a young Roman soldier endeavors to honor his father's memory by finding his lost legion's golden emblem."

   When a movie calls itself an action movie, the film should have just that... action. The Eagle, however, thinks it's too tough to play by the rules and skips a hell of a lot when it comes to swords and blood and replaces it with a very boring story. One would think with casting Channing Tatum, you'd stay away from the acting parts and just let him loose with a bunch of weapons. Nope. Doesn't happen. The few action sequences the film does have are ridiculously short and the camerawork doesn't do much to show off what little there is. Oh, and Channing Tatum seems to be the only one in the entire film to attempt an accent. At that point, you just put the movie down, and slowly back away. 

Roight, mate. Me bloody believe you best Step Up and foight me lik'a real man. 

   I will admit, I am a sucker when it comes to films set in Ancient Rome, and The Eagle brings the slightest bit of originality to the genre. This unique story is focused on much more than the action as The Eagle slowly chugs along at a snail's pace. Every minute wasted building the "story" takes away any opportunity to spill some barbarian blood with sharp pieces of metal. And, we all know that's the only reason to watch this kind of movie. Sure, Braveheart and Gladiator had stories, but they sure made up for it with amazing action.... and rewriting history. I guess that's the key to making a good Medieval action flick. 

Coming summer of 2013, Nicolas Cage is... John of Arc

   Overall, The Eagle is just an ordinary movie with a slightly interesting story  that can't quite reach levels of epicness. The film has a solid beginning and end, but the middle just drags on too long about too much you just don't care about. The acting is sub-par, but that's really the best you can get when the star is Channing Tatum. I probably would not recommend The Eagle, as there are plenty of better, similar, movies out there (see Watch This Instead), but I would hardly call the film unwatchable.

The Good:
although slightly weak and tedious, the story is pretty unique and interesting
The Bad:
Channing Tatum
The Ugly:
lack of iron clashing and blood spilling

Overall: 6.0/10

Best Quote (simply for the awesome names alone):
Marcus Aquila: Marcus Flavius Aquila, Fourth Cohort of Gaul, Second Legion, come to relieve the command. 
Lutorius: Lutorius Drusillus Salinator, acting senior officer.  

Watch This Instead:
Black Death- Sean Bean in a Medieval story about the bubonic plague... yes please
Centurion- very similar story to The Eagle, but with Michael Fassbender and more action


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