March 11: The Family Stone

"An uptight, conservative, businesswoman accompanies her boyfriend to his eccentric and outgoing family's annual Christmas celebration and finds that she's a fish out of water in their free-spirited way of life."

   My girlfriend was channel surfing and came across The Family Stone. "I like this movie", she says. "It's a pretty good movie", she says. "You might like this", she says.  Yeah, no. The Family Stone is sappy Christmas trash with a bunch of beautiful rich people, with, surprise, beautiful problems. Oh, and cancer. For some reason, the filmmakers decided that the best way to make a family holiday rom-com a little more emotional was to throw in a little side of cancer with a full course of cheese. And, of course, one of my favorite things to do in the middle of March is to watch holiday movies. 

Because nothing is more festive than getting drunk on St. Patrick's Day and watching A Christmas Story. 

  The best parts of The Family Stone are two lovely little ladies- Rachel McAdams (McYumYums) and Claire Danes. And, they look even hotter than usual, as their costars are Annie Hall and Sarah Jessica Horse Face. Besides the good looking women, a Woody Allen muse, and a unicorn sans horn, The Family Stone has a weak script and very unlikable characters. The horse herself is just a b**ch and I really have no idea how we're supposed to root for her in her search for love and acceptance. 

Face it, her love is bestiality. 

   Overall, The Family Stone delivers the smallest bit of chuckles and even then you don't like yourself for laughing. The script is awful and the characters undeserving of our attention. The acting is decent but even that doesn't save the film. Sure, the likability of Luke Wilson and Dermot Mulroney do add a little charm to the film but it's still nothing I would recommend running out to rent.  Maybe because I wasn't in the Christmas mindset to enjoy the film, but I highly doubt even if it was snowing and Jesus was swimming in gold, frankincense, and myrrh, I would thoroughly enjoy The Family Stone. 

The Good:

McYumYums and Danes

The Bad:

Sarah Jessica Horse Face

The Ugly:

another run-of-the-mill cheesy, sappy, over-the-top "romantic" comedy

Overall: 4.5/10

Best Quote:

N/A

Trailer: