Oct 5: Slither

"A small town is taken over by an alien plague, turning residents into zombies and all forms of mutant monsters."

Directed by: James Gunn, Rated: R, 95 minutes

Slither is the king of B-movies, blending just the right amount of twisted humor, plenty of gore, and cringe-worthy moments that make you sick in both the stomach and the head. It's a movie made by horror fans who know what true fans want and deliver it in the most over-the-top fashion. Slither is a horror movie of all sorts, emulating monster flicks, invasion movies, and even zombie films. It's a hodge podge of horror thrown into a pot, that although sometimes doesn't quite stick, still proves to be one hell of a ride. 

Whenever you can see tentacles bursting out of the chest of Michael Rooker, you know you're gonna have a good time. 

The womanizing and abusive Grant Grant (Michael Rooker) takes a young woman out into the woods for some "fun time". Its here that he discovers a fallen meteorite of some kind and after his redneck curiosity gets the best of him, a parasitic worm crawls into his body and takes over his brain. Grant Grant changes, slowly becoming a giant worm/squid-like man hybrid. He makes an unexpected visit to a young fling and "impregnates" her with his worm thing. After she grows larger and larger, she unleashes thousands of these slithering worms in a small town known more for its obsession with deer hunting than anything else. It's up to Sheriff Bill Pardy (Nathan Fillion), an incompetent mayor (Gregg Henry), and Grant Grant's wife, Starla (Elizabeth Banks) to save the town from total destruction and survive the night themselves.

Captain Hammer to the rescue. 

Slither is by no means a perfect film. However, you realize almost immediately that its intentions are to never be such a thing. The film references countless horror movies of the past, from The Blob to Dawn of the Dead and relishes in the fact it's trying so hard to be similar. It's cheesy, over-the-top, and packed full of so many gross out moments you can't help laugh your way out of it. The creature designs are simple, as they really are just slugs that move along, throat-raping their victims into zombie-like statuses. And although the slugs are the main monster of the film, there are plenty of other bigger creatures that are even more f**ked up. Each "reveal" is both unexpected and hilarious, in the "I can't believe I'm watching this!" kind of way. 

Yep, that's a person. 

Slither isn't for everyone. It's very violent, very bloody, and has all the messy bits of people and animals you're not meant to see. It's absolutely f**ked up in nearly every aspect, but it's so glorious you can't help but enjoy it. It's a film made for lovers of this kind of movie and doesn't hold anything back to appease those unfamiliar with the genre. The story is simple, even lacking actually, but when has the plot really mattered in a sub-par horror flick? It's simple a means of chugging the movie along so we can see more creative kills, creepier creatures, and have a laugh about it all. I'd definitely recommend Slither. Just keep your mouth covered. 

The Good:

a terrific throwback to horror movies of the past, adding a modern take that's more f**ked up than it should be... oh, and Nathan Fillion of course

The Bad:

severely lacking in any depth for the characters, with each cliche getting worse and worse (yet, it's still fun)

The Ugly:

the film's a little too messed up at times, with a climactic osmosis orgy that's just too weird

Overall: 7.0/10

Trailer:

Sept 9: Payback

"Porter is shot by his wife and best friend and is left to die. When he survives he plots revenge."

Directed by: Brian Helgeland, Rated: R, 100 minutes

In a recent discussion I had with the guys of As You Watch (my podcast), we discussed our favorite revenge movies. Bubba of Flights, Tights, and Movie Nights mentioned that one of his favs is Payback, the 1999 Mel Gibson movie of sweet, sweet, revenge. I had seen the film years ago and decided to revisit it for the blog today, and while it's a pretty good movie, it's not as special as I remember it being. The film does do a great job at reminding is that Mel Gibson was once a badass and that he wasn't always hating Jews, making Jesus movies, or beating his significant other (well, he could have, but as we weren't aware of it at the time, he still had his couple of decades of awesome). 

Is this the face of a maniac psycho or one of the world's greatest super villains? 

Payback follows Porter (Gibson), a criminal who does whatever he wants, to whomever he wants. His best friend and partner, Val (Gregg Henry) brings a job to Porter, where they plan on robbing the Triads (I think at least? Whenever there's an Asian gang you can just assume it's the Triads). Once the heist is over with, Val and Porter's wife, Lynn (Deborah Kara Unger) betray Porter, shooting him in the chest and leaving him for dead. Of course, this being a revenge movie and all, Porter doesn't die but comes back looking for vengeance. As it turns out, there was just enough money in the heist to cover Val's gambling debts (about $140,000) and Porter goes through the chain of command seeking his mini fortune, just because it's his. Dirty cops and of course the Triads want their money back and as Porter looks for what he thinks his rightfully his, his enemies grow closer. Throw in a sexy little part for Lucy Liu and some other recognizable faces (David Paymer, William Devane, and Mario Bello), and Payback proves to be a fun little film. It's also worth mentioning that it's pretty damn violent, but what revenge flick isn't?

Ooh. 'Dem Freckles!

The best part of Payback is seeing Gibson kick a lot of ass. As he's the anti-hero we're supposed to root for, he seems to be immortal, cutting down or shooting everyone that gets in his way. Nothing can stop him and it's the best part of the film. He's an asshole of epic proportions, but when he exists in a crime world with even bigger assholes, he's the guy to root for. He's all about shooting first and asking questions later and the amount of times we seem pulling a trigger sooner than you'd expect leave the film packed full of surprises. By all means, he's no expert marksman or kung-fu master, but he doesn't let the 'bad guys' finish sentences, just finishes them off because he's pissed off at everyone. Porter is a great character that I feel would have been great in multiple movies, as though Porter is to Gibson what Harry Callahan is to Clint Eastwood. The only that's missing is a handful of catchphrases and a .44 Magnum. 

Gibson beats his lovers, Eastwood talks to empty chairs. What has become of this world?!

Sure Payback is fun, but by all means it's no perfect film. There are a handful of pacing problems in the film, especially when it comes to developing the characters. When Porter's on fire, it's so much fun to watch, but when he calms down for a drink or a conversation, you just want thinks to get moving even quicker. Even the plot, which is so direct in its motive, is not the strongest of stories. However, Mel Gibson saves Payback from being incredibly forgettable with his charisma and badass-appeal. He turns an otherwise average movie into something worth watching and is the main reason I'd recommend it. 

The Good:
Mel Gibson kicking ass and showing the world he wasn't always off his rocker
The Bad:
a weak story that leaves a lot to be desired that focuses a little too much on character building and not enough on the violence
The Ugly:
realizing how bad the movie would really be had Mel Gibson not starred in it

Overall: 6.7/10

Trailer: