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The Cinematic Katzenjammer: Feb 5: Paranormal Activity 3


Feb 5: Paranormal Activity 3

"In 1988, young sisters Katie and Kristi befriend an invisible entity who resides in their home."

   Apparently, every male in the Paranormal Activity universe was born with a camera attached to his hands, unwilling to let go no matter what situations he finds himself, or his family, in. If anything, this series is an example of bad parenting. I do not have a kid, but when I do, if he or she is screaming at the top of his or her lungs and shit's flying all over the place, I would put, nay, throw the camera down, save the kid and fight off whatever evil presence settled in my cozy little home. Or, I would just grab the kid and run like a motherf**ker and burn that house down. 

The Devil's Playground

      The film, just like all of the others in the series, relies heavily on the jump out and make noise to scare the shit out of you moments. In these moments, there's nothing truly terrifying but just a natural reaction to stuff popping up out of nowhere. "Horror" movies these days rely too heavily on this scare factor that the buildup to each and every moment is exhausting. Paranormal Activity 3 has plenty of scenes that build up to nothing. The whole film is a succession of those scenes and ones with actual pop out "boos". The story is lacking, and the "lore" and background that the series has tried to create for the characters is as thin as the one ply toilet paper you find in a public restroom. 

You need the entire roll to prevent skid-marks down the road. 

  Now I have never seen any of the Paranormal Activity movies in theaters, but I have heard that they are best experienced with a crowd and great sound, as the effects play so much into the fear factor of the movies. I can understand that many people love these movies because of that, but in my opinion, if a film can't deliver the horror just as much at home, it's considered a failure. That's like saying when you go out to eat, the food tastes phenomenal, but when you get home, it's bland and tastes just like everything else you've eaten. I don't know about you, but I'd throw that food away and never eat it again. 

There's no point when it just tastes like cardboard and sawdust at home. 

   Not everything about Paranormal Activity 3 is bad. The use of an oscillating fan as the base for a camera is inventive, and provides for more suspense than a Mexican standoff or a game of Russian roulette. The camera slowly pans from living room to kitchen, and when one room disappears, your body tightens up just a little more than it should. The acting, especially by the little girl who plays Kristi, is very good. She is cute and innocent, and her conversations with "the demon", Toby (yes, Toby), just plain creep you out. Yet again, little girls tend to always creep people out (The Grudge, The Shining, Silent Hill, The Ring, The Exorcist, and pretty much everything else out of Asia). 

The Good:
an osculating camera that scares the poo out of you, and some pretty good sound effects
The Bad:
the fact that it's practically the same movie as the first two, even recycling the same scares 
The Ugly: 
horrible story that relies too heavily on pop out scares and "gotcha" moments

Overall: 4.9/10

For Reference:
Paranormal Activity: 6.5/10
Paranormal Activity 2: 4.5/10

Best Quote:
(something pops out) Loud Noise

If You Want Real Horror:
Martyrs- probably the most messed up, terrifying movie I have ever seen
Audition- psychologically disturbing on so many levels
The Descent- claustrophobic, dark, and original, with awesome bloody action
Halloween- the original, the classic... and still perfect 
Pan's Labyrinth- the beautiful kind of horror
Drag Me to Hell- demons done right

And yes, three of those films are subtitled. Give them a chance, read a little.

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