Sept. 13: Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story

"A group of misfits enter a Las Vegas dodgeball tournament in order to save their cherished local gym from the onslaught of a corporate health fitness chain."

Directed by: Rawson Marshall Thurber, Rated: PG-13, 92 minutes

Dodgeball is a movie that's fun to watch on TV whenever it pops up. It's nothing you necessarily want to seek out, but it's a nice way to kill 90 minutes when you have nothing else to do. It's a comedy that would have benefited a lot with an R-rating and I think it's inability to really "grab life by the ball" and go all out really hinders the film. Yes, it's funny, yes, it's great seeing Ben Stiller in a role similar to his role in Heavyweights, and yes, it has Vince Vaughn doing a good job, but the story is just a little too all over the place and downright stupid to consider this a comedy classic. One thing it does, however, is make you really, really want to play adult dodgeball, join a league, and kick some ass. 

Yes, please. 

The film follows Peter (Vaughn), the owner of a dilapidated, near-bankrupt gym called Average Joes. The place is a hangout for a bunch of 'losers' and a nice play for them to turn when life slaps them in the face. Across the street at Global Gym, White Goodman (Stiller), is obsessed with being fit, looking good, and surrounding himself with only attractive people. Global Gym is a place no one but steroid-juicing man-things would work out and has the completely opposite mission statement than Average Joe's. After Goodman threatens to buy the property Average Joe's is on, Peter must come up with $50,000 by the end of the month to save his place from going into foreclosure. Of course, it being a movie and all, it just so happens that the national dodgeball championship is just about to begin, with the prize totally $50,000. So Average Joe's creates a team, led by Vaughn, that includes the like of Justin Long, Stephen Root, Alan Tudyk, Joel David Moore, Chris Williams, and Stiller's real life wife, Christine Taylor. They enter the tournament under the tutelage of Patches O'Houlihan (Rip Torn), a hall of fame dodge ball player. Not the man to just sit down and take it, Goodman starts his own team and enters the tourney as well. Chaos, dodging, dipping, diving, ducking, and more dodging ensues, and both teams work their way to the somewhat climactic match in the finals. 

Bizarre but entertaining, Rip Torn makes Patches even...weirder?

It's in the ridiculously formulaic plot that Dodgeball loses itself. Every "twist" in the plot you see coming from miles away and the obvious match-up in the final is too 'eh' to really care about. Along with the weak plot, none of the characters are worth cheering for. Vince Vaughn phones in his performance, only showing the smallest bits of improvisation genius and Ben Stiller has his moments, but he's just too over-the-top. I will admit, I did laugh a lot throughout the film, more so at the supporting cast, like Stephen Root's weirdo-sometimes Hulk-angry 'family man', Alan Tudyk's pirate obsessing Steve, and Jason Bateman's even weirder Pepper, the ESPN 8 announcer who commentates each match. The best part of the film is the actual dodgeball games, with each match having it's own ridiculously awesome theme-teams, from The Lumberjacks, to The Kamikazes. However, each of these teams are on screen for just a few moments and never given a real chance to not only play dodgeball, but show off their unique skills. 

Too much, Ben... too much.

Even with its flaws, Dodgeball is still entertaining as a whole. As I mentioned, it's a good movie to catch on TV when you're bored, but it's nothing worth seeking out. Overall, it's rather disappointing in its execution and story, but its moments that are funny, are hilarious. It also puts a highlight on an awesome sport that can only be 1000x more fun as an adult than it was in high school. I saw this film a long time ago and really loved it, but after re-watching it I'm sure that it's nowhere as good as I remember. Either way, watch it if you want, or go find yourself a red ball that throw it at someone's face. Both are fun... kind of. 

The Good:

showcasing a sport that looks so much fun with a tad pit of humor thrown in here and there

The Bad:

two main characters that are not the most likable, with Vaughn not committing 100% to the role and Stiller committing well over 100%

The Ugly:

a plot that is just too lacking and messy, never knowing where to go 

Overall: 6.7/10

Trailer:

Aug 2: The Watch

"Suburban dads who form a neighborhood watch group as a way to get out of their day-to-day family routines find themselves defending the Earth from an alien invasion."

Directed by: Akiva Schaffer, Rated: R, 101 minutes

The Watch is a mess of a film, never knowing where to go with its story or great cast. The film starts off as your everyday comedy but spills out into other genres in a sad attempt to heighten the quality of what's on screen. It goes from comedy, to sci-fi, to balls-out action, but never sticking with a particular genre long enough to give the film any identity. While the cast is solid, with comedy vets Ben Stiller and Vince Vaughn teaming up with Jonah Hill and Richard Ayoade, the chemistry between the four is not as strong. Each individual performance feels like the actors are trying to upstage each other, with Vince Vaughn's attempt consisting of shouting every one of his lines, overpowering and overshadowing the rest of the cast. The Watch is funny at times, but the film packs too many dick jokes as possible into 90 minutes and completely exhausts any humor.

They have penises and they talk about them a lot so it has to be funny. 

The Watch follows Evan (Ben Stiller), a manager at a Costco who's settled a little too comfortably into his quiet life in a tiny Ohio town. After one of his employees is murdered under suspicious circumstances, Evan starts a Neighborhood Watch group with Bob (Vaughn), Franklin (Hill), and Jamarcus (Ayoade). Each member of the gang has their own motives for joining up, but only Evan has any true interest in solving the crime. After the guys run into a mysterious device (and have a lot of fun with its power), they discover that in fact, their quiet Ohio town is being invaded by a group of aliens that have the ability to use human skin as a disguise. As the watch investigate their neighborhood, they question everyone and everything, as anyone could be an extra-terrestrial hiding in our flesh. 

For all we know, E.T could be working at a Hershey's factory, right on the line that makes Reese's Pieces

It's shocking how much product placement is present in The Watch. The movie feels like an extended commercial for Costco and features hundreds of products that fill its shelves. It's in movie advertising in bulk and the game in discovering each new plug turns out to be more entertaining than the movie itself. Once you make notice of the products, it's incredibly hard to "unsee" and makes an already frustrating movie, really distracting. There is a lot of respect for all the talent involved in the film, but with the fact that the cast is practically whoring itself out to products left and right, you can't help but wonder about the lows these actors have hit. 

How much lower can you sink, Vince!? Comeon!

While The Watch has a lot of ideas going for it, the execution is poor. It seems as though the filmmakers took the premise, but quickly ran out of plot. As a solution, they injected a bunch of unnecessary conflict and subplots, as well as a handful of completely out of place scenes, into the movie just to increase its run time. There is very little substance to The Watch and it's very disappointing. When a film can't pull itself together, even when it has a great cast, it's easy to tell the movie was a failure from the beginning. With a poor script that has no idea where to go with itself, The Watch is not worth looking out for. 

The Good:

a very, very small handful of laughs (most of which are pulled from the trailers)

The Bad:

a script so riddled with "member" references you can't help but wonder if a pubescent teenager wrote the script

The Ugly:

seeing such great talent showcase themselves in such a poor comedy, when all involved are clearly worthy of much better 

Overall: 3.9/10

Trailer:

June 19: Wedding Crashers

"John Beckwith and Jeremy Grey, a pair of committed womanizers who sneak into weddings to take advantage of the romantic tinge in the air, find themselves at odds with one another when John meets and falls for Claire Cleary."

It's hard to believe that Wedding Crashers is 8 years old. It's even harder to believe that since then, Vince Vaughn has only made terrible movies (not to mention two back-to-back Christmas bombs). Either way, it's nice looking back to 2005 and watching one of the best comedies of the last ten years. Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson are perfect together and Wedding Crashers certainly could have been the start of an incredible comedic duo making tons of movies together. I continue to wait for their reunion and while I can't see a Wedding Crashers 2 happening, I hope they cross paths again sooner than later. And immediately after typing that I looked up the two and came across this. They are reigniting their potent man-chemistry for another movie, called Interns. 

Wilson and Vaughn work together every 8 years, yet this f**ktard makes a piece of shit once a year? The world is so unfair. 

Wedding Crashers follows Jeremy (Vaughn) and John (Wilson), two best friends who work every angle imaginable to get laid at weddings they aren't even invited to. They come up with characters, fake-family connections, back-stories, and elaborate lies to not only get in with the ladies, but become the life of the party. They are both incredibly engaging, easy-going and extremely confident and although their intentions are not the most "pure", having a party with either of them would be one hell of a good time. When the two crash a high-end, very public wedding of the Cleary family, Jeremy and John both find themselves caught up by two very unique and attractive women. Jeremy goes after Gloria (Isla Fisher), who turns out to be an insanely clingy, nymphomaniac and John falls for Claire (the perfect Rachel McAdams), a woman "promised" to another man (Bradley Cooper). After a very odd turn of events and character's decisions, Jeremy and John are invited to the Cleary estate for a weekend of family fun and activities. As Jeremy struggles to get out of his overly-attached "girlfriend's" grip, John falls deeper in love and the two have to change the rules of wedding crashing to get through the weekend.

Mandatory McAdams is mandatory. 

Wedding Crashers is an amazing comedy that can be quoted over and over again. Sure it has its faults, as most of the minor characters make stupid decisions to keep the plot going, but it's still so much fun. Vaughn and Wilson make the film their own and without them, Wedding Crashers would be nothing more than a throwaway comedy. It also has Christopher Walken, who is just kind of their for his star power, but still manages to be pretty darn creepy-awesome. Also, keep in mind that Wedding Crashers set a standard for R-rated comedies and continues to be one of the best out there. It's still good and always will be. I certainly recommend it.

The Good:

a great premise that's executed wonderfully with a script that you can only imagine is as good as it is because of Vaughn's and Wilson's improvisations

The Better:

Rachel McAdams as the beautiful woman anyone can fall in love with and the awkwardly sexy Isla Fisher who is the woman anyone would want to take to bed (in a freaky, kinky kind of way)

The Best:

Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson at their bests, and even better when they're together

Overall: 8.2/10

Trailer: