Aug 11: Accepted

"A high school slacker who's rejected by every school he applies to opts to create his own institution of higher learning, the South Harmon Institute of Technology, on a rundown piece of property near his hometown."

Directed by: Steve Pink, Rated: PG-13, 90 minutes

Accepted is a stupid, but very fun comedy that's saved by it's incredibly likable cast. The plot is ridiculous, never even trying to be anything smart and cops out with an even more ridiculous ending. Even then, though, Accepted is very fun and has too much likability, one-liners, and smart improvisation to hate. It also creates one hell of a fake college that would be so fun to attend, even though every bit of it screams "illegal". 

The film also features dozens upon dozens of Apple product placement. Because you know...  

Bartleby (Justin "I'm a Mac" Long) is a slacker who "just got by" in high school. After several attempts at applying for colleges that all resulted in rejection, he decides to create a fake college in an attempt to fool his parents and buy more time until he can get into a real school. Unfortunately, his friend, Schroder (Jonah "I Once Was Huuuge" Hill), makes the fake website all too real, and Bartleby and his friends have hundreds of prospective students showing up to their fake campus. They decide to just go with it and try to make the school something worthwhile, turning the curriculum into a student-driven idea and having classes such as "Rocking Your Face Off 101" and "Walking Around and Thinking About Stuff". Of course, nothing gold can stay and Bartleby and his friends find themselves in hot water as their lies are exposed. Accepted throws in a couple of subplots to the mix, but its still lacking any substance. Schroder does whatever it takes to join a prestigious fraternity at a "rival school", even going about dressing in a hot dog costume and telling people to "Ask me about my weiner!". And Bartleby tries his hardest to win the affection of Monica (Blake "I Can't Stop Pouting" Lively), a life-long crush, even if it means only earning the affection after spending thousands on a camera so she can "find her artistic self".

Even when she's surprised (or angry), Blake manages to pout it up. 

As was previously mentioned, Accepted is good because of the cast. Long and Hill, especially, steal many of their scenes with bits of genius improvisation you can tell were made up on the fly. A large portion of the film was actually unscripted and while it creates some hilarious moments, you can't help but wonder how bad the story suffers because of this fact. The film tries very hard to channel its inner Animal House but when you walk away with just a PG-13 rating, there's a lot that's left desired. It's an interesting thought wondering how good Accepted could have been if it "embraced the raunch" and pushed the limits. 

PG-13 Rating: Disappointing teenage hormones since 1984. 

Even with it's flaws (there are plenty), Accepted is fun and worth a watch. It's nothing you need to track down, as it's on TV all the time, but worth watching on a rainy day or when you're looking for some easy, stupid laughs. Accepted can be looked back on one of the first starring vehicles for Long and Hill, and without it, we probably wouldn't be seeing Long popping up everywhere or even have the 2nd half of Superbad. If anything, you can remember Accepted as the movie review I used the most (and most "unnecessary") quotation marks and parentheses. 

The Good:

Justin Long and Jonah Hill doing their best at improvising and trying their hardest to save an otherwise flat film

The Bad:

a script that lacks any shape or destination and simply chugs along and ends with ridiculous laziness

The Ugly:

some people like him, but I cannot stand Lewis Black and his presence in the film is too irritating to enjoy

Overall: 6.8/10

Trailer:

Aug 2: The Watch

"Suburban dads who form a neighborhood watch group as a way to get out of their day-to-day family routines find themselves defending the Earth from an alien invasion."

Directed by: Akiva Schaffer, Rated: R, 101 minutes

The Watch is a mess of a film, never knowing where to go with its story or great cast. The film starts off as your everyday comedy but spills out into other genres in a sad attempt to heighten the quality of what's on screen. It goes from comedy, to sci-fi, to balls-out action, but never sticking with a particular genre long enough to give the film any identity. While the cast is solid, with comedy vets Ben Stiller and Vince Vaughn teaming up with Jonah Hill and Richard Ayoade, the chemistry between the four is not as strong. Each individual performance feels like the actors are trying to upstage each other, with Vince Vaughn's attempt consisting of shouting every one of his lines, overpowering and overshadowing the rest of the cast. The Watch is funny at times, but the film packs too many dick jokes as possible into 90 minutes and completely exhausts any humor.

They have penises and they talk about them a lot so it has to be funny. 

The Watch follows Evan (Ben Stiller), a manager at a Costco who's settled a little too comfortably into his quiet life in a tiny Ohio town. After one of his employees is murdered under suspicious circumstances, Evan starts a Neighborhood Watch group with Bob (Vaughn), Franklin (Hill), and Jamarcus (Ayoade). Each member of the gang has their own motives for joining up, but only Evan has any true interest in solving the crime. After the guys run into a mysterious device (and have a lot of fun with its power), they discover that in fact, their quiet Ohio town is being invaded by a group of aliens that have the ability to use human skin as a disguise. As the watch investigate their neighborhood, they question everyone and everything, as anyone could be an extra-terrestrial hiding in our flesh. 

For all we know, E.T could be working at a Hershey's factory, right on the line that makes Reese's Pieces

It's shocking how much product placement is present in The Watch. The movie feels like an extended commercial for Costco and features hundreds of products that fill its shelves. It's in movie advertising in bulk and the game in discovering each new plug turns out to be more entertaining than the movie itself. Once you make notice of the products, it's incredibly hard to "unsee" and makes an already frustrating movie, really distracting. There is a lot of respect for all the talent involved in the film, but with the fact that the cast is practically whoring itself out to products left and right, you can't help but wonder about the lows these actors have hit. 

How much lower can you sink, Vince!? Comeon!

While The Watch has a lot of ideas going for it, the execution is poor. It seems as though the filmmakers took the premise, but quickly ran out of plot. As a solution, they injected a bunch of unnecessary conflict and subplots, as well as a handful of completely out of place scenes, into the movie just to increase its run time. There is very little substance to The Watch and it's very disappointing. When a film can't pull itself together, even when it has a great cast, it's easy to tell the movie was a failure from the beginning. With a poor script that has no idea where to go with itself, The Watch is not worth looking out for. 

The Good:

a very, very small handful of laughs (most of which are pulled from the trailers)

The Bad:

a script so riddled with "member" references you can't help but wonder if a pubescent teenager wrote the script

The Ugly:

seeing such great talent showcase themselves in such a poor comedy, when all involved are clearly worthy of much better 

Overall: 3.9/10

Trailer:

June 27: 21 Jump Street

"A pair of underachieving cops are sent back to a local high school to blend in and bring down a synthetic drug ring."

Directed by: Phil Lord & Chris Miller Rated: R, 109 minutes

21 Jump Street is easily the best comedy of the year so far and is a breath of fresh air in a Hollywood dominated by shitty Adam Sandler and Tyler Perry movies. It's raunchy and it's loud and it pokes fun at the original 1980s TV show while also making fun of the generation of dumbass high school kids who, although "environmentally aware", think the Titanic was just a movie and that the only way to communicate with one another is through an iPhone their rich parents bought them. 21 Jump Street does a great job at showing that high school is nothing like what it appeared to be in the 80s and 90s, while reminding us that some things never change (cliques, popularity wars, and of course, drug use). Led by Jonah Hill 2.0 (he lost a bunch of weight for the role) and the actual funny Channing Tatum, 21 Jump Street delivers plenty of laughs, enough surprises to keep everything from being too predictable, and a good amount of heart to make the craziness that ensues all the more relatable and human. 

And you can't talk about heart without talking about Ron Swanson (Nick Offerman) and his manly, meat-clogged arteries. Yes, he has a small role. 

The story follows Schmidt (Hill) and Jenko (Tatum), two young, fresh out of the academy police officers who want to be the hot-shot cops you see in the movies. After a complete botching of their first arrest, the partners are "demoted" to an undercover police operation, under the watchful eye of an "angry black police captain" played by Ice Cube. In the operation, they are to assume the identities of two high school kids in order to infiltrate a drug ring that is selling a nasty kind of fun to the school's teenagers. Ironically, Schmidt and Jenko went to high school together, but were in completely different leagues of each other, Schmidt being a brace-face nerd and Jenko being the hot shot star athlete. Schmidt sees this as a chance to be cool, something he was never able to be, and tries his hardest to do so. Jenko, however, finds that the changed times prevent him from doing what he did to be cool when he was in high school, and he finds himself falling down the social ladder very quickly. Schmidt has the time of his life, even falling in love with Molly, a senior in his drama class, while Jenko is learning what covalent bonds are in his chemistry class. 

Because clearly folks, Tatum is awful at chemistry. 

Speaking of which, Hill and Tatum have great chemistry together and work off each other incredibly well. Hill proves to be the "veteran" in the funny department, but Tatum holds his own, proving that he needs to be utilize in comedies, as opposed to his romantic lead/dramatic dancer roles. I genuinely enjoy watching the two work off each other and the possible lead in to a sequel makes me excited that I can see them together again. The rest of the cast is filled out nicely as well, with small parts for Chris Parnell (SNL), Rob Riggle (The Daily Show), Ellie Kemper (The Office), and James Franco's little brother, Dave, all of which are recognizable but no too big of a star to steal the thunder from the leads. There is also a pretty interesting cameo by Johnny Depp, who starred in the original TV series, and even returns to the same role that first put him on the cover of Tiger Beat magazine. Along with the great cast, 21 Jump Street has a solid script. The movie was actually a "passion" project for Jonah Hill and he not only produced it, but also wrote the story. It's in this enthusiasm you can tell that the script was written with a smart approach, and is what elevates the movie to the well above-average comedy. It's also nice to see Hill slimmed down for a role. It's a fresh look at the actor and helps make him a more believable lead. 

See? There is hope for everyone... if you have millions of dollars. 

As you can assume, I would definitely recommend 21 Jump Street. It's fun, hilarious, over-the-top just enough, and stars two guys who clearly have fun work together. Whenever you can watch actors enjoying themselves, as opposed to acting for a paycheck, it's much more entertaining. It should also be pointed out that the jokes are not all the same, given out over and over. There is a good blend of physical and verbal humor as well as a bunch of laughs from a bit of the unpredictable. I liked this movie a lot more than I thought I would and honestly do want to see more of the characters. 

The Good:

a good script that's not stupid, nor insults the intelligence of the audience like most recent comedies do

The Better:

Channing Tatum in a comedic role- a place he's much more comfortable in than the crappy sappy shit he makes

The Best:

Tatum and Jonah Hill's chemistry that is solid as hell by the film's end, leaving you wanting more of their "adventures"

Overall: 8.0/10

Trailer: