March 4: ThanksKilling

"A homicidal turkey axes off college kids during Thanksgiving break."

   From the opening shot of ThanksKilling (it's a porn star, playing a pilgrim, running through the woods topless for no reason), you can tell it's going to be an absolutely disgustingly bad film. I really don't know why I watched anything past the first minute, but this is a request, so I'll fight through it. The premise is simple. Every single aspect of ThanksKilling is awful. There really is no redeeming factors of the film and every single copy of the film needs to be tracked down and burned, then the ashes either launched into space or thrown in the ocean. This film should not exist, in any way at all, and I am ashamed of myself for actually watching it. Luckily, at only 70 minutes in length, this was just a quick trip through Hell. 

In Hell, you can only watch ThanksKilling, listen to Rebecca Black, and read Family Circus. F**k.

   The acting in ThanksKilling is worse than the acting in a 7th grade history project video and I feel that any one of you readers would do a billion times better than anyone in this film. None of the actors and characters are likable and you hope they all die painfully, but quickly. The villain is a turkey, poorly made, in puppet form, who actually talks. His voice is almost as if Oscar the Grouch and a grumpy old cab driver had some back alley "alone time" and made this terrible, terrible character. There is no one to root for in ThanksKilling and you just ache for it to all be over. There is literally a scene where a man picks the turkey up on the side of the road, and wants to f**k it, stating how "sweet its ass is". Swear on my life, this actually happens. 

When polled, 100 out of 100 people said they would never f**k a turkey. 

   Overall, ThanksKilling isn't even worthy of being called a film. The thing is absolute trash and has absolutely no redeeming qualities. The special effects are disgustingly bad. It's almost like they didn't even try, but just poured red corn syrup over everything and called it a day. I have never, ever seen acting as bad as what is in ThanksKilling, and I pray none of the cast members are ever allowed on a production set again. They need to be quarantined for how bad they are, never again to be allowed in public.  Most terrible films are so bad that they are at least laughable and can be made into a somewhat entertaining commentary, but ThanksKilling cannot even provide that. It makes me so angry knowing this piece of shit exists and I pray to God none of you reading this will give it your time and attention. 

The Bad:

the idea, the premise, and everything involved in the making of this piece of crap

The Worse:

the idea, the premise, and everything involved in the making of this piece of crap

The Worst:

ThanksKilling

Overall: 0.1/10

AVOID THIS SHIT LIKE THE PLAGUE.