Sept 8: Sin City

"A film that explores the dark and miserable town, Basin City, and tells the story of three different people, all caught up in violent corruption."

Directed by: Frank Miller & Robert Rodriguez, Rated: R, 124 minutes

Sin City is a film with balls- big, violent, hilarious balls. It's like nothing you've seen before and is a festival of eye candy, with each scene looking sexier than the last. The film features one hell of a cast, all obviously having one hell of a fun time with it, and manages to turn something 'pulpy' into something that's worth every moment of your time. It's simply too cool to ignore, even if you're not a fan of a violent, over-the-top, good ol' fashioned orgy of awesome. 

And Jessica Alba plays a stripper. That is all. 

In the city of Basin City, criminals and prostitutes are at every corner. You survive by paying off the cops, being a badass yourself, or being a sexy dame a guy would kill for. Sin City focuses on three individuals in this ultra-violent "Gotham"- Dwight (Clive Owen), Hartigan (Bruce Willis), and Marv (Mickey Rourke). Dwight's a do-gooder who knows the streets as well as the women of Old Town (Basin City's version of a red-light district, but the "women of the night" are in charge, not the cops). Hartigan's a cop, one of the few good ones left in the city. He tracks down a girl kidnapped by a rapist and swears to do whatever it takes to keep her safe, even if it means losing his own life. Marv, a hulk of a man, is bullet-proof in his mission, seeking the murderer of a pretty whore that gave him too much attention. Throw in a constant narration from each of the men, detailing their lives with the most noir-esque lines you can imagine, and Sin City turns into the perfect combination of classic detective stories, pulp novels, and the grindhouse style of the 70s. 

The best part of the film is the visual style, being one of the most faithful comic adaptations (of any kind, actually) of all time. The pages of Frank Miller's graphic novels come to life on the screen, each scene literally ripped from the pages. Even the color palette, a heavy black and white with colors for accents, come straight out of the novels. Not only is this beautiful to watch, but the color scheme fits the stylized nature of the plot and turns something so violent and bloody into a work of art. Robert Rodriguez, best known for his Mariachi Trilogy and yes, Spy Kids, continues to show how incredible he is with a camera and creates his own unique masterpiece, giving so much depth and character to a 2D world that the genius Frank Miller created. 

Sin City is one of those films everyone needs to see, if just for the technical aspect alone. Yes, it's incredibly violent and and not for the weak of heart, but the gorgeous detail put into the film as well as the a group of characters so perfectly cast makes it easier to swallow. Sin City is an instant classic in its own genre and shows you that faithful adaptations do exist. While comic adaptations of every nature fly into theaters every summer, Sin City still remains the best, even after seven years and the continued promise of a sequel. As we all know, if you turn the right corner of Sin City, you can find anything. Here's hoping that anything is that sequel. 

Mickey Rourke was born to play Marv. 

The Good:

a great cast, with each actor fitting his/her role perfectly

The Better:

dialogue so rich with awesome, with every line reminiscent of something you'd read or hear in the 50s, when being cool was everywhere and a lit cigarette made you a badass

The Best:

a unique style that turns the film into something more than a run-of-the-mill action flick and proves that graphic novels can make a perfect leap to film

Overall: 9.5/10

Trailer:

If you're not sold on the film now, just take a look at the rest of the cast- Rosario Dawson, Michael Clarke Duncan (RIP), Elijah Wood, Carla Gugnio, Josh Hartett, Powers Boothe, Rutger Hauer, Benicio Del Toro, Brittany Murphy, Devon Aoki, Alexis Bledel, Jaime King, and Tommy Flanagan.  

Jan 7: Hobo with a Shotgun

"A homeless vigilante blows away crooked cops, pedophile Santas, and other scumbags with his trusty pump-action shotgun."

   An epic title and an epic poster, Hobo with a Shotgun proves to be one hell of a ride. Imagine being on a roller coaster, all shoddy, with pieces of metal hanging off and rattling. The whole thing looks like a mess, yet you still decide to get on board. The roller coaster slowly inches its way upward, it's not as bad as you think it would be. Then the ride turns completely around, and you go speeding forward, blood showers down on top of you as the ride goes out of control. You feel sick, you feel disturbed, yet a part of you enjoys it and can't stop screaming and laughing. By the end of it, you feel a sense of entertainment and shame, and are kind of glad it's over. Then, you realize how absolutely ridiculous the whole ordeal was and just forget about it. That's pretty much Hobo with a Shotgun.

   It's like how you used to play Roller Coaster Tycoon

   

   Rutger Hauer plays the titled Hobo, and he actually plays it pretty well...minus the subject matter. He's a drifter that stumbles into a town run by an evil man and his two sons. The town really has nothing going for it and, apparently, limbs and body parts are insanely fragile. Hands break like twigs, body parts get smashed like vases, and heads pop off like Pez dispensers. Oh, and people bleed like their blood is Diet Coke and a simple cut is a Mentos. Blood seems to geyser out of bodies from just a little paper cut. 

No dogs were harmed in the making of this awful Photoshop

   The dialogue is just as insane as the gratuitous violence. Nearly every line I wanted to include as the best quote would not be remotely appropriate, nor would any one believe me who has not seen the movie.

   The entire thing is a bloody car wreck that you can't look away from. The film features human pinatas, manhole and bumper car decapitations, and even a pedophile Santa. These ridiculous elements of the movie are just small parts of the mess, the rest is even more ridiculous if you can believe it. The movie is really bad, but in a way, really worth at least one little peek. 

Sight: The movie is colored like some stained glass window on acid, all for the old time-y grindhouse feel. It's kind of distracting, but then again, so was every pulpy movie made before 1984.

Sound: It has a soundtrack that fits the "genre" with the cliche deep bass lines and a synthesizer that sounds like it's being used by the first time by some over excited sound man.

Skill: Campy acting to fit the mood and violent atmosphere. This is the kind of movie the Oscars lock in their basement and only feed lotion and Triscuits. 

Script: Every single line is absolutely awful and hilariously ridiculous. 

Overall: 4.2/10

Best Quote: Watch the movie and see for yourself.