Oct 8: The Faculty

"Students suspect that their teachers are aliens after bizarre occurrences."

Directed by: Robert Rodriguez, Rated: R, 104 minutes

Robert Rodriquez is one of my favorite directors working today. The stuff he churns out continues to be awesome (amid the Spy Kids and Shark Boys). However, he's one of those guys whose career you can look back upon and really love the hell out of it. From Desperado, to From Dusk Til Dawn, he started off with a bang. The Faculty, his follow-up to Dawn, is just as impressive, bringing the gore and guts we're familiar with as well as his usual humor and style. And while he didn't write the script, like most of his movies, The Faculty still feels like a genuine Rodriguez movie. And it is glorious.

Joss Whedon gets all the credit for making movies FOR fanboys, but Mr. Rodriguez here deserves the same amount of recognition. 

The Faculty tells the story about a bunch of kids who believe their high school teachers are aliens hiding in the bodies of school's staff. Elijah Wood plays Casey, a nerdy photographer who's the first to discover that something is wrong. As all horror movies go, no one believes him. So, he recruits the help of his fellow classmates (most of whom look down on him) to discover the secret behind what's happening. Throw in a massive cast that includes the likes of Josh Hartnett, Jordana Brewster, Salma Hayek, Famke Jensen, Bebe Neuwirth, Robert Patrick, and even Usher AND Jon Stewart, and The Faculty is simply too much fun to pass up. 

The Daily Show clearly saved Stewart from a career of this. I'll leave it up to you to decide if it was for the better or worse. 

While the film has its weaknesses (it falls prey to a script riddled with cliches) it still manages to poke fun at the fact, being more aware of its problem than anything else. It's a really genius idea, as the target demographic of the film (teenagers) would end up going back to school questioning their teachers and the setting is something we can all relate to. The dialogue shared between the characters is also rather realistic, but still suffers from the fact that nearly everyone playing a high school kid is played by a twenty something. The script also is full of references to tons of film favorites, from The Terminator franchise to Alien. But, it's in the suspense and effects that The Faculty shines. There are moments that pull you to the edge of your seat, making you worried about the characters, even if you don't care about them as much as you should. And of course, the acting is just good enough to get by, with each actor or actress having a blast with the film, knowing full well how campy and glorious it all really is. 

I'd pay a lot of money to see The Flying Spaghetti Monster emerging from the mouth of a T-1000. 

The Faculty is a great movie for Halloween, or even any occasion  It's part invasion flick, part zombie movie and it blends in a bit of the self-aware narration that made the horror movies of the 90s so good. It's not a classic by any means, but the idea is great, the execution is fun, and seeing all of the people in the movie together, well before their stardom, makes you appreciate it even more. The film also has an underlying sexuality to it that tailors to the hormones of horror fans, teasing you just enough to stay even more interested. It's also worth mentioning that the film is rated R, which elevates ANY horror movie into something great, even if it's terrible. The Faculty is on Netflix. Go and watch it. Or you can be lame and actually do your homework... but alien faculty sounds so much more fun. 

The Good:
clever script that has a lot of humor, a good amount of suspense, and a dash of sexy
The Better:
pretty good special effects for the small kind of movie it is and seeing what Rodriguez can make out of something that could have easily been dismissed
The Best:
the cast is so full of people you'll recognize and the bringing together of all these faces is just so cool

Overall: 7.7/10

Trailer:

July 7: Safe House

"A young CIA agent is tasked with looking after a fugitive in a safe house. But when the safe house is attacked, he finds himself on the run with his charge."

Directed by: Daniel Espinosa, Rated: R, 115 minutes

There is really nothing original about Safe House. Every twist and turn in the story is predictable right out of the gate and turns the movie more into a series of strung together action sequences, removing all suspense and thrill. Sure, it all looks nice and those action scenes are filmed rather well, but when you have the same run-of-the-mill everything, it's hard to really enjoy the movie as something fresh and "game-changing". However, I honestly would watch anything that Ryan Reynolds is in and it is fun watching him kick a lot of ass as a "secret agent". He has a lot of range in his acting and seeing him do something completely different is a nice change of scenery. I really can't think of any moment in Safe House where Reynolds actually cracks a joke or even smiles really.

He's trying, dammit!

Safe House follows Matt Weston (Reynolds), a young CIA agent who's trying very hard to be more than just a measly little safe house keeper and actually work in the field. His superior, David Barlow (Brendan Gleeson), promises Weston that he's close to getting promoted and to just wait it out a little longer. Of course, sitting around a safe house with Reynolds for 90 minutes wouldn't be the most action-packed movie. Thus, enter Tobin Frost (Denzel Washington), an ex-CIA specialist, now a most wanted criminal. Frost is brought to Weston's safe house until he can be extradited to the United States. But, within minutes of his arrival, the house is attacked and the only thing Weston can do is take Frost on the run with him, eluding capture by the bad guys and finding another safe haven to lay low. Weston figures this is his chance to show the big guys up top at the CIA that he has what it takes to be a field agent and swears to bring Frost in himself. However, Frost tells Weston that there may be a compromise in the CIA (surprise, surprise) and that he has the evidence to prove it. Thus, a game of wits ensues, and as an audience, you're trying to figure out if Frost is telling the truth or not, right alongside Weston. Unfortunately for Safe House, this plot "twist" has been used way too many times and makes for a rather uninteresting ride. 

The same twist also featured in every season of 24. Every. Single. One. 

Even with its massive flaws, Safe House does still provide some forms of entertainment. The action is tight, brutal, and filmed very well, and each beat-down and shoot out is very reminiscent of the Bourne films (although, what action isn't anymore?). Reynolds does a fine job as Weston and he's certainly determined and even built enough to be believable as a man who can kick ass. He's rough around the edges, as is any fresh-out-of-the-farm agent, but still manages to not only dish out some woop-ass, but takes a hell of a beating as well. Denzel Washington adds very little to the movie as Frost, a character not as developed or even as sinister as you'd think the villain should be. I feel his presence is strictly for his name and that his performance, while solid, is a weaker rendition of his usual badass self. Safe House also features a handful of other great actors including Vera Farmiga, Sam Shepherd, Liam Cunningham, Robert Patrick, Joel Kinnaman, and the previously mentioned Brendan Gleeson,  but none of them are on screen long enough to really be game changers. 

And while I f**king love this man, his American accent is atrocious. 

I would neither recommend or tell you to skip Safe House. It's fine where it is, in the in between, as it really doesn't elevate to great levels nor does it fall into the shit. For the most part, it's an action film with a whole lot of energy and is pretty fun to watch. However, with a script as unoriginal and unimaginative as it is, Safe House really struggles at being more than just those action sequences. Ryan Reynolds and Denzel Washington both give fine performances (with Reynolds actually out-acting Denzel), but the characters they inhabit lack the depth to make them all that interesting. It's also worth pointing out that Safe House is about the seventh film for Denzel that focuses way too much on having a blue and orange color palette, making everything he does just blend into one colorful mess. 

Why so orange, Mr. Washington?

Oh yeah, that's why. 

The Good:

Ryan Reynolds showing us that he can dish out a beating as well as take one, and that he's more than just a smooth-talking jokester

The Bad:

a script that's so predictable you can't even attempt to ignore it (hopefully that's not just me watching too many movies)

The Ugly:

that same script destroying an otherwise enjoyable movie that really had the potential to be something more than just your regular, average day action flick

Overall: 6.2/10

Trailer:

Re-watch? Maybe

Buy? No