Sept 12: The Princess Bride

"A classic fairy tale, with swordplay, giants, an evil prince, a beautiful princess, and yes, some kissing (as read by a kindly grandfather)."

Directed by: Rob Reiner, Rated: PG, 98 minutes

As some of you may know, The Princess Bride is my favorite movie of all time. I never get tired of it, watch it whenever it's on TV, and quote it on a near daily basis. Thanks to the glorious people at Tugg (I'm plugging it because it's awesome, no sponsorship here), I was able to catch this perfect little movie on the big screen, something I was never able to do as the the film came out two years before I was born. All day I was antsy and excited, eagerly anticipating seeing Westley, Inigo, Fezzik, Buttercup, Humperdink, Count Rugen, and everyone else in an actual theater, with hundreds of The Princess Bride lovers like myself. All of my favorite (FAVORITE) movies I've been hesitant to review, as I never know if what I can say will do such films justice, but seeing this bad boy on the big screen has encouraged me to attempt such an endeavor. So here it goes, my review of The Princess Bride. 

Also, as inconceivable as it may be, I did participate in a blogathon where I re-cast this film with pre-1965 actors as well as (God forbid) a remake if it had to happen. Check it out here. 

For those of you that don't know the story (shame on you!), The Princess Bride follows Westley (Cary Elwes) a farm-boy turned 'pirate' who returns to his home and seeks his one true love, Buttercup. After Westley doesn't return from his quest to "seek his fortune", Buttercup resigns herself to his death and reluctantly agrees to marry the evil Prince Humperdink (Chris Sarandon). After she is kidnapped by Vizzini (Wallace Shawn), Inigo Montoya (Manny Patinkin), and Fezzik (Andre the Giant) who plan on murdering her and blaming the death on a neighboring country in order to start a war for Humperdink, Westley, dressed in black, mask and all, chases after them and plans on rescuing his love. Through a series of events, Westley earns the respect and trust of both Inigo and Fezzik, and the three storm Humperdink's castle after he's recaptured Buttercup. What unfolds is a tale of "fencing, fighting, torture, revenge, giants, monsters, chases, escapes, true love, and miracles", all told by a grandfather (Peter Falk) to his grandson (Fred Savage). 

He's the grandpa we all want to read stories to us. 

The Princess Bride is a rare kind of film, as its entire approach is that of live (and campy) effects, witty dialogue, plenty of action, and more humor than you'd believe. There's really nothing like it and it's one of the main reasons I love the film so much. Adapted from a book by William Goldman (who also wrote the screenplay), the movie creates a world so full of vibrant characters that exists somewhere between the world we know and a fantastical realm we read about in fairy tales. For instance, it references real places like Australia and Greenland, but then has rodents of unusual size (R.O.U.S) scavenging about in the Fire Swamp. It's a genius method of storytelling as it's essentially our world injected with romanticizing themes full of adventure and peril. It's also worth mentioning that the score, composed by Mark Knofpler, is just as entertaining, being just as memorable as the rest of the film, especially the fact that each 'action' in the film is hit with a sound of music that highlights the humor. 

The movie also features the greatest sword fight of all time. Ever. Period. 

Of course, a movie like this would be nothing without its perfect cast. Cary Elwes is the perfect hero, combining a bit of Robin Hood with a dash of piracy and a bit of Musketeer. Westley's motive of true love is something pure and simple, and everything he does is worth rooting for. Robin Wright does a great job as Buttercup and tip-toes the line of damsel in distress and feisty heroine brilliantly. All she wants is for her love to return and nothing (or anybody) can stop her from getting that. The star of the show, however, is Manny Patinkin. His Inigo Montoya is iconic in every sense of the word and his subplot of revenge is a large driving force of the film. He's superb as the Spainard seeking vengeance against the Six-Fingered Man (Christopher Guest), and every line he mentions is immediately quotable, especially, of course, the "My name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die!" line. His partner in crime, Fezzik, is played by Andre the Giant, a man so unique in size and nature that you can't help but remember him. The duo's pairing leads to a large part of the film's humor and seeing them work off of each other is magnificent. The Princess Bride also has incredible supporting actors, from Wallace Shawn's off the hinges, "Inconceivable" shouting Sicilian, Vizzini, to Chris Sarandon's ultimate jerk, Humperdink, who gives you absolutely nothing to cheer for. Oh, and there's a hilarious Billy Crystal thrown in the mix. 

He's onscreen for maybe five minutes, and each second is side-splitting funny. 

There's so much charm and humor to The Princess Bride that it's incredibly hard not to love. Whenever I've told anyone that it's my favorite movie, I usually get an odd look of "Okay...?" or a huge smile in agreement. It's almost universally loved and referenced and all of the fans of the film (that I know) are die-hard lovers of the movie. I can't begin to express in words how much I love this movie. It's unique and original and full of energy, imagination, and life, and captures a feeling very, very few films have been able to accomplish. In the past, I always thought I was bias when talking about this film, as it's my favorite, but after re-watching it on the screen with a theater packed full of fans like me, I am now more certain than ever that The Princess Bride is one of the greatest movies ever made. 

Overall: 10/10

Trailer:

Sept 6: Safe

"Mei, a young girl whose memory holds a priceless numerical code, finds herself pursued by the Triads, the Russian mob, and corrupt NYC cops. Coming to her aid is an ex-cage fighter whose life was destroyed by the gangsters on Mei's trail."

Directed by: Boaz Yakin, Rated: R, 94 minutes

Jason Statham has always been (and probably will always be) an actor I watch in anything. I know he doesn't have the greatest intelligence when it comes to picking the movies he's in, but damn, can he be entertaining. With Safe, a calmer approach to his testosterone man-rages, Statham manages to show that he really is this generation's action star and can do wonders when given a gun and a fight choreographer. Safe also manages to be incredibly violent, sans gore, and racks up one of the largest body counts in recent memory. 

Street clothes = cool, suit (later on)= motherf**king badass

In a way, Safe is almost like Statham's version of Leon the Professional. There's a young girl at the heart of the story that needs protecting and he feels it's up to him to save her. Of course, this is just touched upon and the real motive behind what Statham does is money, but you can see similar themes in the two films. The plot follows Luke Wright (Statham), a cage-fighting boxer who accidentally takes out an opponent he was supposed to take a dive to. He actually puts the guy in a coma (with one punch) and pisses off a lot of people, including the Russian mafia who had money on him losing. Meanwhile, Mei, a young girl who's a genius with numbers, holds a combination to a safe inside her memory, and is used as a little tool for the Triads. After the Russian mafia hears of this, they pursue the young girl, who escapes and crosses paths with Luke. Luke realizes he needs to do some good in his life and decides to protect her and gets involved in the chase for the codes. On their tail is not only the Triads and Russian mafia, but a bunch of dirty cops as well, some of whom actually used to work with Luke. Yeah, he used to be a cop. 

D'aww.

As I mentioned, the action in this movie is the best part. Statham, who's known for his beat-downs with his fists and feet, utilizes a gun much more often in Safe. And being the badass he is, every one of his shots are perfect and on the mark (or head, or chest, or arm, or leg) and he kills hundreds (I mean that) of Russians, Triads, and dirty cops. At first, you think nothing of it, but as more and more bodies pile up, you see that number reaching ridiculous heights. And while I'm no expert in guns or what not, Safe features (what I think to be) very realistic gun 'mechanics' and sound effects. Or it really just could be that the guns and props around him rise above the occasion to impress such a badass. Who knows, but either way, it's awesome. 

Everything in this scene is 100x cooler with Statham around. I mean, look at that f**king gun. Sweet baby Jesus, it's a star. 

Now, Safe isn't perfect by any means. It's a run-of-the-mill action story that's elevated with Statham's presence and his ability to dish out a hell of a lot of beatings. The story has its smart moments, as well as a handful of well-acted supporting characters, but so much of the reasoning behind it is just too stupid to ignore. The little girl is used instead of a computer, because she's not "traceable" (say the Triads), yet the fact you trust someone that young with access to millions and millions of dollars makes absolutely no sense. In the end though, I'd still recommend Safe for what it is and suggest at least renting, especially if you're a fan of The Stath. 

The Good:

great action sequences led by the gloriously badass Jason Statham

The Bad:

nothing in the plot elevates the story to memorable

The Ugly:

the reasoning by trusting a girl with all of the Triad's bank accounts and information, knowing full well she's just a scared little girl 

Overall: 6.9/10

Trailer: