Oct 7: Candyman

"The Candyman, a murderous soul with a hook for a hand, is accidentally summoned to reality by a skeptic grad student researching the monster's myth."

Directed by: Bernard Rose, Rated: R, 99 minutes

Here's another entry into the "Horror Movies I Haven't Seen" list. While this is stretching it a bit, as I do remember watching Candyman when I was really young, I remember nothing else about it. All I can recall is that it was on TV one day like 10 years ago. So, I'm throwing this in the batch with Hellraiser and Little Shop of Horrors. And I must admit, of these three films, I like Candyman the least. It's a very slow movie that takes a long, long time to get going, and once it does, it kind of just jumps all over the place. It's moments of terror are genuinely freaky, with plenty of blood and graphic murder scenes that will stick with you. But, the rest of the film is just very blah movie that's more f**ked up and random than anything else. 

That's a comfy looking coat though. 

Candyman follows graduate student, Helen Lyle (Virginia Madsen), who hears about an urban legend about the Candyman, an apparition that appears with a hook stuffed in a stump of a hand who kills anyone that says his name five times. Seemingly obsessed with the story, Helen seeks out information behind it, tracking down past "victims" as well as traveling to the hood (because the urban area is apparently the home of the killer?). Then, in some way or another, she ends up striking a deal or receiving a curse (I couldn't tell which one) from the Candyman (Tony Todd), and murders happen all around her, each being staged to look as those she was the one that committed them. A bunch of shit happens, a lot of blood is spilled, and you're left not really knowing what happened. 

Xander Berkeley also has a part in the film and this guy I'd really watch in anything. RIP George Mason.

I don't know if the film itself is very confusing or if I just checked out of it earlier than I should have, but there's a lot about the movie that just doesn't make sense. It really feels as though parts of the film were removed, as it jumps ahead in time and all over the place quite frequently. I really wanted to like Candyman, but I ended up feeling very underwhelmed by it. If I had to point out particular things I did like about it, I would say that Philip Glass' score is very creepy and the cinematography looks great. As a technical film, I can appreciate it. But through its plot and even it's weak acting, I have to condemn it as something close to terrible. 

And there are a lot of bees. Because, why not?

I'd recommend staying away from this Clive Barker adaptation. Yes, I know that this movie has quite the cult-following and I am sure to offend plenty of them, but I just could not fall in love with this horror movie. It's messy storytelling that's only heightened by its technical aspects, but still fails to deliver something worth remembering. Freddy, Jason, and Michael would all be ashamed to have the Candyman in the bloody echelons they share, and I for one could do completely without it. 

The Good:

a haunting score by the always creepy Philip Glass and a couple of graphic scenes that are pretty freaky

The Bad:

a messy story that never knows where to go

The Ugly:

that same story seemingly wanting to be full of symbolism and deep meaning, but just feels lost and confused (like the audience)

Overall: 4.3/10

Trailer:

Feb 1: Reservoir Dogs

"After a simple jewelery heist goes terribly wrong, the surviving criminals begin to suspect that one of them is a police informant."

   If there is one thing anyone should know about me, it's that I have a huge hard on for everything Quentin Tarantino does. Call me a fan-boy, or whatever you want, but this guy makes near perfect films each and every time (except Death Proof... but we don't talk about Death Proof). Reservoir Dogs, Tarantino's first movie, is the start of his legacy and proves it can stand the test of time. Even after 20 years, the film is exceptional with terrific dialogue, incredible acting, and one hell of a soundtrack. I saw this movie about seven years ago, or so, and Stuck in the Middle With You still makes me smile whenever I hear it... and I make sure both of my ears are still attached to my head. 

Whew... wait a sec..

   Reservoir Dogs is probably one of the best first films by a director I have ever seen. The fact that a no-name movie freak filmmaker named Quentin could get the likes of Harvey Keitel, Steve Buscemi, Tim Roth, and Michael Madsen in his first movie is ridiculous. If I could get that kind of raw, badass talent for my first movie, I would have lightning bolts of slap-happy jubilation shooting out of my mind. 

From my MIIIINND. 

   The script is probably the best part of Reservoir Dogs. Quentin Tarantino is a master of dialogue, and every line he writes is completely organic, real, and genius. From the opening scene in a diner, where the heist "team" discusses tipping waitresses to a scene where the undercover cop rehearses an amusing anecdote he'll have to use to win over the criminals, Reservoir Dogs is gold (or blonde in this case). In a time when twists and turns in movies wasn't as expected like it is today, Reservoir Dogs broke the mold and proved original ideas could still be made into movies. 

The Good:

the excellent script, incredible acting by all the leads

The Bad: 

you want the film to be longer... but there always is Pulp Fiction :) 

The Ugly:

torture... ouch

Overall: 9.8/10

Best Quote: 

Mr. Blonde: "Listen kid, I'm not gonna bullshit you, all right? I don't give a good fuck what you know, or don't know, but I'm gonna torture you anyway, regardless. Not to get information. It's amusing, to me, to torture a cop. You can say anything you want cause I've heard it all before. All you can do is pray for a quick death, which you ain't gonna get."