Nov 17: Heathers

"A girl who half-heartedly tries to be part of the "in crowd" of her school meets a rebel who teaches her a more devious way to play social politics."

Directed by: Michael Lehmann, Rated: R, 103 minutes

Heathers is one of those movies that could have only been made in the 80s. It's full of dark, dark themes that could never fly these days and is packed with incredible lines of dialogue that you'd only find in a raunchy comedy. It's the perfect blend of morbid, genius, and hilarity and proves to be the dark horse in the race for best 80s teenage comedy. It's a memorable movie that can be quoted over and over and after re-watching the film, I have only reaffirmed my love for it.

As we all know, if you want to f**k with the eagles, you have to learn to fly.

Veronica (Winona Ryder) is your usual troubled teenager. She gave up her true friends to get in with the Heathers, the popular girls in school, and has fallen into the position of being their bitch. She's used as a tool for the Heathers to make fun of everyone in school and make their lives miserable. Enter J.D (Christian Slater), the mysterious new kid in town who proves to be an outlet for Veronica's frustrations. He's rough around the edges, certainly troubled, and has a violent streak about him that's not quite comfortable. After venting her frustrations to J.D and realizing the Heathers are awful human beings that are destroying the school, they plan to murder them, staging each as a suicide. Sadly, with each death, the school goes crazy in love for the departed and turn each victim into a martyr, questioning why the suicides would happen. As things progress, J.D gets a little too carried away with the violence and his plans of "leaving a message" blow up to an extreme. Veronica is stuck in a terrible position and must decide on whether or not to go deeper in the rabbit role with her new found love or abandon ship before things go too far.

We all experienced this in high school. Right? Wha.. Okay, I was the only one. 

Heathers' biggest strength is the dialogue. So much of what all of the teenagers say feels like something you'd actually hear in a high school, but with a 80s style and sense of humor injected into it. It's twisted and graphic, yet you'll find yourself laughing out loud at the cleverness of it all. It's a smart comedy that's much stronger than most satirical films out there, and seeing the teenage comedy genre turned on its side, turned inside out, then stabbed to death is so much fun. Yes, that's what Heathers does to you. It makes you relish the f**ked up ideas behind it and laugh at the destruction that plays out on screen. Winona Ryder and Christian Slater both give excellent performances (playing themselves). Ryder brings her dark-sided innocence to the role of Veronica and she's easily believable as a teenager with problems, even if she's a bit of a caricature of that character. Slater is slick and charismatic as J.D and his character is a rough idea of what Patrick Bateman may have been like in high school. The two play off each other wonderfully and create a Bonnie & Clyde for the high school demographic. Their crusade even starts off with good intentions, and plays on the deep, twisted, thoughts we all had in high school.

"Teenage angst. Brought to you by Hull Clean. For a no-rust-build-up junior year."

Heathers proves time and again to be one of the darkest comedies I have ever seen as well as one of the most entertaining. It's what happens when the bubble-gum chewing, cheerleaders choke on a handful of nails and plays off of the thoughts and frustrations everyone had in high school. It's relatable, yet extreme, and in its this marriage that Heathers shines. Instead of the over-familiar story of trying to fit in, by doing whatever necessary, Heathers tells a tale of killing your way to the top, through all of the popular girls and the jocks. Sure, it's a messed up message and doesn't teach much about the actual high school experience, but it's still relatable in a f**ked up way and is so over-the-top you appreciate the humor. I would highly recommend checking it out and continually quoting it year after year. 

The Good:
great performances from the two leads who, in essence, are just playing over-dramatized versions of themselves (thus, they're perfect)

The Bad:
laughing your ass off at the worst situations and finding humor in the morbid and twisted ideas at the center of the film

The Ugly:
thinking something like this would never fly in 2012 and the boundaries we used to push are taken back a bit and shifted to the right

Overall: 8.6/10

Discussion Question:

Do you think a dark comedy dealing with bullying and high school murders could be made today? Or is too much shit going on in the world today for this to be "acceptable"?

Trailer:

Sept 22: Killer Klowns from Outer Space

"Aliens who look like clowns come from outer space and terrorize a small town."

Directed by: Stephen Chiodo, Rated: PG-13, 88 minutes

Keeping up with the requests, I present to you a little 80s movie that I'm sure you've at least seen the cover of- Killer Klowns From Outer Space. Yes, the movie is as bizarre as the title but dammit, I love the f**king hell out of it. It's absolutely insane little film that features actors in creepy clown costumes, parading a little town and killing them with ray guns and turning them into cocoons of cotton candy and death. It's one of the most imaginative films I have ever seen and while the camp factor is off the charts, there's plenty to love. It's a cheesy 80s horror movie made by people who love the genre and manage to take a ridiculous idea and turn it into something very entertaining. 

Those pink scrotum are actually people... in CANDY!

The film follows a bunch of aliens that come to earth who look like clowns and even have a spaceship that looks like a circus tent. Once they've arrived, the clowns begin abducting people, wrapping them up in cocoons of cotton candy and storing them on their ship for what appears to be a food source. These clowns are terrifying looking, with just a dash of lovability, thus adding to the eerie factor. After two teenagers discover the clowns, they race back to their town and try to warn the people and get the cops to help them out. Of course, no one's going to believe a story about killer clowns from outer space and as the teens continue to save the town, the aliens descend upon the little populous. The clowns use plenty of clown-y gadgets to kill the citizens, from acid pies thrown at their victims, evil balloon animals, and even shadow hand puppets that turn into dinosaurs and eat a group of people. I can't make this up people.

It's shocking how many people look at that clown and laugh, thinking it's a cute little sideshow. 

While the plot sounds crazy (it is), seeing it all play out is so much fun. You can't help but appreciate the imagination that was put into the making of the film, even if it was just an acid trip one day with a pen and paper in hand. Next to the creativity, the best part of the film is the special effects. Time and time again I reiterate my love for practical effects and Killer Klowns from Outer Space put them to glorious uses. From the creature designs (so detailed and terrifying) to the set design, the film manages to look a lot better than something this small budget should. The final product is something that would come out of the nightmares of Jim Henson and blends the style of The Little Shop of Horrors with the demented styling of Tim Burton and R.L Stine (Goosebumps, people). The film really is a testament to what people with a unique idea and an understanding of special effects can do. While it's no masterpiece, Killer Klowns from Outer Space is it's own f**ked up classic. 

Toilet clown-snakes that emerge from kernels of popcorn would be the worst way to die. 

When you think of an 80s horror movie, you always think of the icons like Freddy and Jason, or even The Evil Dead. While all three are incredible, I really believe the killer clowns deserve a spot in the hall of fame of horror. The film has plenty of problems, from piss poor acting and horrible dialogue, but then again, what campy film doesn't? Had I watched this movie years ago, I have a feeling I would have absolutely hated it and probably even have turned it off before it was over. However, these days, when I've come to look at movies in a more technical aspect, Killer Klowns from Outer Space is so worth the time. There's simply too much to marvel in such a short time. Hell, put it on with a bunch of friends, I'm sure you'll have a massive amount of fun. But don't think of going to a circus anytime after as this film turns clowns into demonic pieces of nightmares you quite won't get out of your mind. 

The Good:

imagination and practical effects that are used brilliantly, turning a turd into a... shinier turd 

The Bad:

dialogue that makes you want to punch yourself in the face and acting that makes you confident about pursuing your own Hollywood dreams

The Ugly:

knowing full well the fact this film has achieved cult-status, but has probably not been viewed by as many people that ought to give it a shot

Overall: 6.9/10

Trailer:

Aug 24: Who Framed Roger Rabbit

"A toon hating detective is a cartoon rabbit's only hope to prove his innocence when he is accused of murder."

Directed by: Robert Zemeckis, Rated: PG, 104 minutes

When you think of great animated movies, Who Framed Roger Rabbit usually isn't the first film to come to mind. Sure, most of the film features live action actors and sets, but its blend with the animated world is done so well, you can't help but give it that recognition. The film also features a combination of both Disney and Warner Bros. owned characters and is one of the only times in film history where Mickey Mouse and Bugs Bunny actually share the screen. Not to mention that the story has plenty of adult elements injected into it, and the fact that these beloved characters co-exist in this world is almost shocking (but so much fun). Keep in mind, it's nothing too raunchy or racy, but there are moments both sexual and frightening that leave you wondering how it managed to stick with it's PG rating. 

There's plenty of drawn boobs and violence. 

The film follows Eddie Valiant (Bob Hoskins), an alcoholic, strung-out cop who can't catch a break (or a case). When he finds himself in a bind and needs money sooner than later, he reluctantly accepts a case from the toon, Roger Rabbit, who's been accused of murdering Jessica's (his wife) lover (they played "paddy cake" together). Eddie has a history with toons and loathes them with a passion, as one killed his former partner and brother. Eddie, with much angst, teams up with Roger and searches for the identity of the actual killer, venturing through 1940s Los Angeles and the very animated and lively Toon Town (where all the toons live). Of course, this is not a straight open and close case, and the evil Judge Doom (Christopher Lloyd), who runs the Toon Patrol that has jurisdiction over Toon Town and it's residents, wants to find Roger and get rid of him sooner than later. Eddie and Roger discover that there's more than just the murder that's being covered up and they soon realize that Toon Town is facing destruction at the hands of Doom. 

Doom (and his weasels) are such perfect villains. 

Who Framed Roger Rabbit is a classic. Robert Zemeckis (who went overboard with his later animated movies with his obsession with motion-capture) shows that he has what it takes to blend reality and cartoon, and I'm shocked (and disappointed) that he has returned to this style. The film features cameos from dozens upon dozens of cartoon characters we all love, from Dumbo to Daffy Duck, to Donald Duck, and even Betty Boop. That fact alone warrants a viewing as it's so fun to see so many characters in one movie. It leaves you wondering if anything like this could be made today. The story is also full of laughs and, surprisingly, a lot of suspense, especially when it comes to the Judge Doom character. While the scarier elements may be too mature for some of the younger kids, there's still plenty to be enjoyed for all ages. The film combines adult and childish humor but does it almost flawlessly, never weighing heavier either way. 

A cigar smoking baby is fun for the whole family!

As you can imagine, I would highly recommend Who Framed Roger Rabbit. Bob Hoskins does a terrific job as Eddie and it's sad that the recent news of his retiring means we will probably never see him back for the long-rumored sequel. This film also has quite the nostalgic value for me, as it was one of the first more "mature" kids movies I ever saw and thus, watched over and over. It's absolutely packed with the magic of a large set (a true studio film similar to Back to the Future) and not only has plenty of references to Hollywood history, but to the characters and creations that inhabit it. 

The Good:
Bob Hoskins as Eddie, a role clearly made for him

The Better:

the humor throughout the film that's not just slapstick funny, but genuinely clever and smarter than you probably imagine

The Best:

seeing so many cartoon characters in one place and wondering how incredible Toon Town has to be with all of them living together

Overall: 8.8/10

Trailer:

May 26: Beetlejuice

"A couple of recently deceased ghosts contract the services of a "bio-exorcist" in order to remove the obnoxious new owners of their house."

Beetlejuice is a classic, hands down. It is Tim Burton at his best and a nice reminder of how good he used to be. Yes, used to. I don't care what anyone says but Alice in Wonderland and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory suck. They are loud, creepy, obnoxious messes with way too much color and way too much Depp. Yes, I said it. Burdeppon needs a break. But moving past that, let's talk about Burton's first "relationship" with Michael Keaton (Burk? Keabur? Beaton?). First, Beetlejuice that lead into Batman (f**k yes) and then finishing with Batman Returns, this duo was three for three in the awesome department. And it all started with Beetlejuice, an incredibly creative ride through a colorful underworld with equally creative characters and one hell of a performance from Keaton. 

He's a conman Joker with the hygiene of the Bubonic Plague (hehe, I love that shrunken head dude)

Beetlejuice follows the story of the Maitlands (Alec Baldwin and Geena Davis) who, after discovering they have died, seek a means of haunting the Deetz family, the new owners of their house, who plan on ruining it with atrocious decorating and remodeling. After several failed attempts at scaring the Deetz's away (including a memorable dinner table scene featuring dancing and calypso), the Maitlands reluctantly hire Beetlejuice (Keaton) for help, who advertises himself as a "bio-exorcist" or, in a sense, an expert ghost. It turns out, however, that he's just a dirty, horny, old ghoul who looks out only for himself and will do whatever it takes to get out of the underworld. The story is incredibly original and its execution is so imaginative and over-the-top (the good kind) that you can't help but love it. It's a dark, dark, comedy and its twister humor mixed with equally twisted special effects and character designs give it a very macabre charm. 

I mean... look how f**ked up (yet cute) that is. 

Chances are, you've already seen Beetlejuice as it was quite the hit when it premiered in 1988 and even spawned a cartoon that lasted nearly 100 episodes. It's one of Burton's best and most creative films. It has incredible special effects that create extremely unique characters, creatures, and ghouls and is really the first sign of Burton's fascination with death and the afterlife (see: everything else he does). The best part of the film is definitely Keaton's performance and one of the biggest faults with the film is that he does not have enough screen time (only 17 minutes). They recently announced a true sequel to the film that will return Keaton to the role and I can only hope that Burton doesn't find a way to squeeze Johnny Depp into it, and really makes it a true sequel, faithful and respectful enough to the original.

The Good:

a clever, original story that can only come from the world's most obscure visionary 

The Better:

creepy, terrifying, and entertaining special effects that have their own "flair"

The Best:

Keaton delivering one of his best performances of his career and how he steals every second he's on the screen

Overall: 8.2/10

Trailer: