May 14: The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen

"In an alternate Victorian Age world, a group of famous contemporary fantasy, Sci-Fi and adventure characters team up on a secret mission."

The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen has an incredible premise. A secret task force of famous literary characters team up in an alternate reality to save the world from falling into absolute war and chaos (while lacking any sort of developed villain). Throw in Sir Sean Connery as their leader and you'd think this film would certainly be a masterpiece of awesome. However, LXG fails in almost every aspect and is even the reason the great Connery retired from acting. Yes, a film is so bad it turned James Bond himself into a grumpy old man who wanted nothing more to do with movies. That's power of the utmost terrible kind. 

The man who hasn't aged in 15 years hasn't made a movie in nine. 

It's ironic that a film based on so many great characters in literature suffers from a disgustingly bad script. Each line of dialogue is laughable, especially everything Connery says (even his accent can't change that). There is so much packed inside a short movie and trying to give every character equal screen time and development makes the whole thing a mess. I remember seeing this film when it first came out in 2003 and loving it. Sure, back then I was immature and very naive as to what makes a movie good, but even then I can't forgive myself. Yes, LXG has its own odd charm and some moments of entertainment, but it's really hard to forgive its flaws. Even the special effects I thought were so great back in the day, let me down with this new viewing. 

Mr. Hyde is like if The Hulk and Rosie O'Donnell had a love child (with steroids). 

The cast features Allan Quatermain, Mina Harker (Dracula), Dr. Jekyl, The Invisible Man, Captain Nemo, Ishmael, Dorian Gray, Tom Sawyer, and many other references. The idea sounds amazing and it's even based off of a graphic novel by the legendary Allan Moore (who hated the film). With so much awesome and terrific source material, there really should be no excuse for LXG. It's simply a perfect example of bad directing and screenwriting, and how even great ideas can fall into the pits of awful when in the hands of the wrong people. Here's hoping for a reboot made The Avengers style. 

The Good:

an original, genius premise 

The Bad:

the poor execution of something that amazing

The Ugly:

the fact a 110 minute film made Connery retire from acting and also insulted one of the greatest graphic novelists of all time

Overall: 3.8/10

Trailer: