July 28: Wild Wild West

"The two best hired guns in the West must save President Grant from the clutches of a 19th century inventor-villain."

Directed by: Barry Sonnefeld, Rated: PG-13, 106 minutes

I always knew but never fully realized how bad a movie Wild Wild West is. I had always enjoyed it as a stupid, yet fun flick when I was younger, never having the mental capacity to understand how awful it is. I also never realized how racist the film is, incorporating a different slave joke every five minutes or so and even throwing in a handful of jokes aimed at handicapped people. There's just so much going wrong in the film that you can't help but sit back and kind of enjoy it. Hell, Wild Wild West stars two extremely likable men- Will Smith and Kevin Kline, features a gloriously over-the-top Kenneth Branagh, and also features a handful of steam punk gadgets and vehicles. How bad could it be?

Well f**k. 

Wild Wild West tells the story of Jim West (Will Smith), a Civil-War hero who's good with a gun and Artemeus Gordon (Kevin Kline), a U.S marshall who has more gadgets than courage and also happens to be a master of disguise. When President Ulysses S. Grant finds that the United States is being threatened by the evil Dr. Arliss Loveless (Branagh), he recruits the two to work together and find a way of stopping him. As the two of them investigate into Loveless' plan, they discover that he has much darker plans for the country than originally thought. Of course, as any big bloated movie, the men can't do everything on their own, and reluctantly enlist the help of Rita Escobar (Salma Hayek), a whore dancer who knows how to get close to Loveless. The movie is actually based off an old TV show of the same name, and while I never watched it, I can only imagine the characters and stories were much more developed and entertaining than the film. 

Definitely, yes. 

After re-watching the film, I wonder how successful something like it would be today. The steam punk aspect of the film is certainly a draw, especially with an increase of it's popularity more recently. Looking back, I actually think that the failure of Wild Wild West is one of the biggest reasons more films these days don't have a steam punk style to them, as no one wants to remind the public of this bomb. Regardless, some of the gadgets are incredibly fun and inventive, and a part of me really wanted to see more of what Gordon has in store. The film also features a crap ton of mechanical spiders, including a giant beast of a thing in the finale. It's even more interesting knowing Kevin Smith's story behind the thing.  

Yes, that's a giant spider. 

Wild Wild West sucks. I really, really tried hard to find a way to enjoy it like my younger, naive self was able to do, but I couldn't. One of the only aspects I can recommend watching for is Branagh's performance as Loveless. An actor of that caliber has to be aware of the shit he is in and I think he just went running away with the role, having as much fun as possible, fully aware of how bad the movie would be. Even then, I'd be weary of suggesting the film and would probably lean more towards suggesting you skip it. It's a mess of epic proportions that tries way too hard to be some badass adventure with fun gadgets but ends up being a piss-poor "comedy" with even worse special effects and terrible dialogue. Will Smith is clearly present solely for his star power and when one of the world's most bankable and likable actors can't save the film, you know you're in trouble. Skip it if you haven't seen it, avoid re-watching it if you have. 

The Good:

a vaguely creative idea that could have been so much better 

The Bad:

a piss poor execution with crappy CGI and an even worse script that just reeks of stupid

The Ugly:

wondering how the hell I ever watched and enjoyed this movie as a kid

Overall: 2.7/10

Trailer:

July 1: The Extra Man

"A man who escorts wealthy widows in New York's Upper East Side takes a young aspiring playwright under his wing."

Directed by: Shari Springer Berman & Robert Pulcini, Rated: R, 108 minutes

Now, I am usually an avid fan of Kevin Kline, loving nearly everything he is in. I even like Wild, Wild, West based purely on his performance. I'll give anything he is in a chance, and I went into The Extra Man thinking it would be a little gem. I was certainly wrong. The Extra Man is the type of film that tries way too hard to be "quirky", but instead turns out to be incredibly annoying. It does have its moments, but when you look at the movie as a whole, it feels like a bunch of randomness strung together on a laundry line that stayed out to dry a little too long. It's stiff, stale, and quite the mess.

Hell, this is even more enjoyable to watch. Peaceful, serene, and probably smells a lot nicer. 

The story follows Louis (Paul Dano), an emotionally f**ked up man who moves to Manhattan to follow his writing dreams. He moves into an apartment with Henry (Kline), a wannabe aristocrat who moonlights as an escort to the city's wealthiest widows. As Louis tries to discover who he is and flirt with his odd inner desires, he begins to learn about the eccentricities and the perks of trying to live the high life in one of the world's grandest cities. Oh, Louis has an odd curiosity towards woman's clothing and even experiments with cross-dressing. I'm not saying that it's necessary wrong to do so, but the way Louis is portrayed makes him come across as a sheltered, perverted weirdo. I am also a huge fan of Paul Dano (he is great in Little Miss Sunshine and There Will Be Blood), but he's following the career paths of Michael Cera, John Heder, and  even Jesse Eisenberg, playing the same, socially awkward loner over and over. 

A little creepier looking though. 

The Extra Man can't decide on what kind of movie it wants to be. It jumps drastically from comedy to drama and it's in these transitions that the film loses itself completely. I blame the directing and the script. Although the directing duo of Berman and Pulcini did make the great American Splendor, I feel the two did not work together at all on this film. With the mess at hand, I can only assume each director showed up on his/her schedule and filmed a scene on his/her own, without consulting the other. The film lacks a singular heart, style, and theme. As for the script, it's just as big of a mess as the directing. I am a huge fan of Jonathan Ames, one of the screenwriters and the author of the novel on which the film is based. His TV series, Bored to Death, is one of my favorite shows of all time. However, The Extra Man is far from the quality of his show, and it's a huge disappointment. The characters lack nearly all likability and are more annoying than they are funny or developed. While Kline and Dano's acting is good, the characters they create are victims to the script. John C. Reilly is a saving grace, playing Henry's neighbor, Gershon. However, he has very little screen time and is tiny role cannot save the film. Oh, and Katie Holmes sneaks in as a possible love-interest to Louis, but the two share absolutely no chemistry and her character's a total bitch. Why would an introvert intellectual fall for a shallow, fake semi-attractive working girl?

One of her many career casualties after marrying Tom Cruise. 

Skip The Extra Man. It has a good premise but is executed with way too many flaws to maintain any quality storytelling. It's all over the place, never knowing what it is, and in it's attempt to be out of the box and original, it instead turns out to be very annoying. I don't know if Kevin Kline is getting worse with age but he certainly does not save a movie like he used to. 

The Good:

John C. Reilly with a full grizzly man beard

The Bad:

a cast made nearly entirely of unlikable, too-weird characters

The Ugly:

a messy script and directing that turns a good premise into a movie with a terrible identity crisis 

Overall: 3.8/10

Trailer: