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The Cinematic Katzenjammer: June 8: Starship Troopers


June 8: Starship Troopers

"Humans in a fascistic, militaristic future do battle with giant alien bugs in a fight for survival. Based on Robert E Heinlein's 1959 sci-fi epic."

Starship Troopers is a baffling. It's absolutely shocking that something this bad can be so f**king fun to watch and even genuinely love. It's an incredibly, incredibly violent film that sees hundreds  of thousands of one dimensional characters slaughtered at the hands (or claws) of giant space bugs. The first battle actually ends stating that 100,000 space marines died at the hands of these insects and mind you, that's at the halfway point of the movie. Of course, all the "filler" between these battles is an equally over-the-top mess, with disgustingly awesome dialogue and equally awful acting. Starship Troopers is pretty much a gory soap opera in space with more than enough explosions and romantic sub-plots to last a lifetime. 

Featuring a young and hot Denise Richards...
And yes, a young, creepy, sans suit Neil Patrick Harris.

All you really need to know about the film's plot is that a bunch of giant bugs from the planet Klendathu continually attack earth with asteroids. How giant insects launch even giant-er space rocks through space, I don't know, but it happens. After a massive attack on our planet, the Mobile Infantry is deployed to Klendathu where they seek to find a way to bring these nasty bugs to extinction. Rico (Casper Van Dien) is the main character, and we see him graduate high school, enlist in the Mobile Infantry and follows his adventure on the alien home planet. His girlfriend Carmen (Denise Richards) becomes a pilot while his best friend Carl (Neil Patrick Harris) becomes a scientist and researcher, trying to find a way to kill the bugs once and for all. Most of the film follows Rico on Klendathu and we see him rise in the ranks of the Mobile Infantry while practically every single person around him dies in a brutally violent way. These bugs are not to be f**ked with and it's incredibly entertaining to see hundreds of extras massacred by these giant praying mantis/cicada/beetle things. If Starship Troopers had a body count for every person who dies on screen and who's body is discovered, I believe the film would have the highest death count in the history of film. 

Yep, those are bugs. Thousands of them. No can of Raid could kill these creepy crawlers. Oh, they "suck brains out" as well. 

Paul Verhoeven, the director of Starship Troopers, also made Total Recall, Robocop, Basic Instinct, and yes, Showgirls. Those four films really help give you an idea of what kind of movie Troopers is as it's full of violence, horrible dialogue, awesome special effects, and as much sex and sexual references at every break in the action. Starship Troopers is a masterpiece of horrible proportions and it's disturbing surprising how well the entire thing works. It's a cult classic at its best and at its worst and I f**king enjoy every minute of it. 

The Good:
ridiculous everything- acting, dialogue, plot, violence, and body count
The Bad:
ridiculous everything- acting, dialogue, plot, violence, and body count
The Ugly:
thoroughly enjoying every minute of it

Overall: 3.9/10 (as a film)
8.0/10 (as entertainment)


And apparently in the future, you can raise in rank incredibly easily and after thousands of people die, the main character's friends' funerals seem to be the only important ones. 

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