March 31: Immortals

"Theseus is a mortal man chosen by Zeus to lead the fight against the ruthless King Hyperion, who is on a rampage across Greece to obtain a weapon that can destroy humanity."

   Greek myths are some of the oldest stories in the world and are rich with morally good and evil characters. They are stories of love, courage, tragedy and mischief and they have been told for thousands of years and have been heard by millions of people. Yet, for some reason, no one can make a good film out of them. With such incredible source material, why can't Hollywood produce quality work? The worst part is that the visuals may be amazing (300, Immortals, Clash of the Titans), but it's always the damn dialogue and story that sucks. Some can argue 300 had great dialogue but, when looked at again, you realize it was all tailor-made for quoting over and over. There really is no excuse when countless books can be adapted to the screen in marvelous ways (Lord of the Rings, anyone?). 

Give these two a book of myths and... my gods...

    With Immortals, the plot is not necessarily awful, it's just really lacking. You think certain parts have promise but then soon realize the story is nothing you haven't seen before. A peasant's (Theseus) mother is murdered in front of him by Hyperion (Mickey Rourke), an evil king. He then swears revenge and magically becomes the perfect warrior and leads an army to stop the king. Hyperion is a rather interesting character. He plans on releasing the titans to kill the gods because he feels that, if they were good, they would not have let his family die from disease. But, in the meantime, he also plans on producing as many kids with as many women as he can because he thinks that if his bloodline continues, he'll be immortal through them. The whole thing is really kind of creepy and Rourke's presence only adds to the strange.  Henry Cavill plays Theseus and, although his character isn't as developed or as powerful as he is in myth, Cavill does show that he has what it takes to be a leading man, as well as the Man of Steel. 

Hell yes. 

    Now, even though the story isn't as strong as it could be and the script suffers from a case of "trying too hard", the acting is very good. The cast does as good of a job as they can given the dialogue. Luke Evans should also be mentioned for giving a terrific performance as Zeus. He brings a new face to the character, as we have grown accustomed to seeing the father of the gods with grey hair and a big white beard. As a matter of fact, all of the gods are young, beautiful people and, while at first I was thrown off by it, I realized that their appearance fit the ancient world much greater than what we have come to know them as. 

Abercrombie & Fitch meets Olympus

   The best parts of Immortals are the special effects and fight sequences. Tarsem Singh, the director, is a visual genius and the way he captures each sequence is mesmerizing. The entire film looks like a piece of art and each fight scene plays out like a ballet (with BLOOD). Tarsem is one of my favorite directors, having made The Fall and The Cell, both mind-f**k movies that rape your eyes with beauty. However, Tarsem doesn't realize that a pretty picture doesn't make a film. If the script was up to par, nay even half as good as the visuals, Immortals would be incredible. 

No, Tarsem! The script! Focus on the script!

   Even though Immortals is lacking a solid script and story, I still found it very enjoyable. There were enough bits of action to keep it from drowning in the shallow plot and you can't deny how good it all looks. I would recommend watching Immortals just to admire the special effects. Overall, Immortals is like the hot girl you see across the room/bar/church/school/street/internet, only to realize after talking to her for awhile, she's boring and just the same as everyone else. You realize that it's so close to the perfect package but missing vital pieces that would create its perfection. 

The Good:

mesmerizing visuals with epic action scenes

The Bad:

a mundane script with an unoriginal story

The Ugly:

realizing the film is close to amazing if only a few major things were changed

Overall: 6.4/10

Trailer: